Jun. 3rd, 2009

ROTFL!

Jun. 3rd, 2009 03:43 pm
ladymirth: (internet needs surfing)
Courtesy of Blue commenting on this hilarious blog:

WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES


Excerpt from a Dog's Diary........

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpt from a Cat's Diary... Day 983 of my captivity....

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. 

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now .


Thanks to[livejournal.com profile] pgwfolc for linking me to this blog. Also, can you figure out why these products never made the end product catalogue?
 
ladymirth: (disapproving batman)
...WAT.  


I don't see how they can laugh at this. These people are clearly messed up and need serious help. 

Holy shit. 
ladymirth: (scrose2)
 This is my first attempt at:
a) writing what is intended to be a song
b) based on a completely impersonal experience
c) that deliberately emulates the simple, non-profound lyrics in pop culture
d) that anyone should be able to relate to.
So please tell me what you think. 


Getting Over You

You've been gone a long time
I've been trying to move on all this while
Trying to pack away my feelings
To sort through and understand;
Which I still don't, but I'm dealing
With how it is as best as I can

(Chorus)
Sometimes I think I still love you
Sometimes I think I hate you 
Like I've never hated anyone before
Sometimes I think I've broken free
But then I know deep inside of me
That I'm not over you at all 

But when you visit me at night
Your face shining like a light 
Against the dark of my dreaming eyes
Then I can ask you finally
Why you did what you did to me
Was it love for you or just another lie?

(Chorus)

Did you hurt too when you hurt me?
Do you understand or won't you see?
Are you so wrapped up in your head
That why I left is still a mystery
Or is it a story you tell differently,
That makes you right with no regrets?

Now have you moved on, left me behind?
Am I just a memory, brushed aside? 
If I wasn't worth loving, even a little hate will do
I hope I haunt your days and dreams long
After I'm done writing silly songs 
Trying all this while to move on, and get over you... 
ladymirth: (batdance)
Johnny Depp + Christian Bale = Public Enemy, July 1st.

Which means I'll have to wait another three months to see it here in SL!

OMGUGUISEIMGONNADIE!!!!  I will DIE if I get both of them onscreen at the same time! Who do I root for? 

Please, please, dear Nolan God, let Depp be cast in the next Batman movie too! 

AAIIIIEEEE!!!!!! *scares the owls* 

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