Who is she: Sonam Kapoor was formerly better known as nineties hearthrob Anil Kapoor's daughter, or "that fat little kid" who was a personal assistant to one of the most influential contemporary Bollywood directors, Sanjay Leela Bhansali (of Devdas fame). One day, luck and Mr.SLB smiled on her and, after losing 35 kgs in six months, she was cast in the lead role of his much-hyped 2008 musical Saawariya.
The movie bombed at the box office, but the lead-couple had already caught the nation's attention. Sonam Kapoor, in particular, captured young girls' imagination with her ugly-fat-duckling-turned-55kg-swan story and became a beacon of hope for angsty overweight kids everywhere.
Right. So far so good.
Now meet her douchebag of a father, who decided to celebrate his daughter's 23rd birthday by buying her a sugarless cake.
"I thought I had slimmed enough. I lost 35 kgs before Saawariya. I’ve been constantly keeping my weight down. But I think Dad knows the other girls are looking very slim these days. It was his way of letting me know that I needed to get even thinner. A strange present on my birthday."
But Dad Anil Kapoor did make a ’weighty’ statement. Sonam has caught on. "I’m going on a diet. I need to get thinner to look comparable with the other girls. Look at Deepika. She’s athletic and slim. I’m not an athlete. But I’m a runner. I love to go on long runs all on my own for miles and miles. That is a sure way to lose weight."
Okay, so she's not starving herself, (at least I hope not) and she's going to use running as a weight-loss method. So what's the matter?
With dad prodding her into a fat-free awakening Sonam is about to lose more kilos. "I have to. It’s not a vanity. It’s for my sanity. I can’t be happy being healthy when the other girls are frantically losing weight. So thanks to my Dad I’m losing more weight."
This woman is a stunning 5 ft 9", 135 pound twenty-frikkin'-three year old. She's healthy, talented and beautiful. But she's still not going to feel good about herself till she turns herself into a rake. Why? Because she will go insane if she doesn't end up as anorexic as other girls!
Yes, Mr. Anil Kapoor, nothing says, "Happy Birthday to you, other girls aren't fat, why are you?" quite like a sugarless birthday cake.
I dunno about you, but I think birthdays are about celebrating the good things you have in life. Like the fact that you are not a diebetic, for example.
All this is rather ironic, given her fitness interview in Filmfare magazine. Note the last pearl of wisdom: Above all, always feel good about yourself no matter what size you are!
You clearly do practice what you preach, Miss Kapoor. Way to set a glowing example for all those teeny-boppers. Succumb to peer pressure and look like a barbecue stick, everyone!
In other news, you know the fairness cream companies have completely brainwashed India when they are allowed to do something like this: New Pond's White Beauty Advertisement Features Neha Dhupia Pwning Wheaty-Skinned Priyanka Chopra.
( Cut for the non-dial-up-friendly pics. )
Let it also be noted that this is a wonderful way for two leading names in Bollywood to exploit the fawning masses. Saif Ali Khan cheerfully plays a dickhead who ditches his twu wuv because her skin tone turns him off and Priyanka Chorpa plays the bimbo who will bleach her face white to get him back. Very commedable, you lot. Catch me buying a single movie of yours again.
I'm serious. I'm so damn infuriated with this woman-hating industry that I feel like binning my entire collection of Bollywood DVDs. At least then I wouldn't have this collusion to stamp out any semblance of women's lib from the Eastern hemisphere on my conscience.
Listen up, you pea-brained bimbos. You wanna know who the most beautiful woman in Bollywood is?
Suck. It. Up.