ladymirth: (bunny)
Meet one of Bollywood's hottest starlets, Sonam Kapoor.



Who is she: Sonam Kapoor was formerly better known as nineties hearthrob Anil Kapoor's daughter, or "that fat little kid" who was a personal assistant to one of the most influential contemporary Bollywood directors, Sanjay Leela Bhansali (of Devdas fame). One day, luck and Mr.SLB smiled on her and, after losing 35 kgs in six months, she was cast in the lead role of his much-hyped 2008 musical Saawariya

The movie bombed at the box office, but the lead-couple had already caught the nation's attention. Sonam Kapoor, in particular, captured young girls' imagination with her ugly-fat-duckling-turned-55kg-swan story and became a beacon of hope for angsty overweight kids everywhere. 

Right. So far so good.

Now meet her douchebag of a father, who decided to celebrate his daughter's 23rd birthday by buying her a sugarless cake.  

"I thought I had slimmed enough. I lost 35 kgs before Saawariya. I’ve been constantly keeping my weight down. But I think Dad knows the other girls are looking very slim these days. It was his way of letting me know that I needed to get even thinner. A strange present on my birthday."

But Dad Anil Kapoor did make a ’weighty’ statement. Sonam has caught on. "I’m going on a diet. I need to get thinner to look comparable with the other girls. Look at Deepika. She’s athletic and slim. I’m not an athlete. But I’m a runner. I love to go on long runs all on my own for miles and miles. That is a sure way to lose weight."

Okay, so she's not starving herself, (at least I hope not) and she's going to use running as a weight-loss method. So what's the matter?

Well, this:

With dad prodding her into a fat-free awakening Sonam is about to lose more kilos. "I have to. It’s not a vanity. It’s for my sanity. I can’t be happy being healthy when the other girls are frantically losing weight. So thanks to my Dad I’m losing more weight."

This woman is a stunning 5 ft 9", 135 pound twenty-frikkin'-three year old. She's healthy, talented and beautiful. But she's still not going to feel good about herself till she turns herself into a rake. Why? Because she will go insane if she doesn't end up as anorexic as other girls! 

Yes, Mr. Anil Kapoor, nothing says, "Happy Birthday to you, other girls aren't fat, why are you?" quite like a sugarless birthday cake. 

I dunno about you, but I think birthdays are about celebrating the good things you have in life. Like the fact that you are not a diebetic, for example. 

All this is rather ironic, given her fitness interview in Filmfare magazine. Note the last pearl of wisdom: Above all, always feel good about yourself no matter what size you are!

You clearly do practice what you preach, Miss Kapoor. Way to set a glowing example for all those teeny-boppers. Succumb to peer pressure and look like a barbecue stick, everyone!

In other news, you know the fairness cream companies have completely brainwashed India when they are allowed to do something like this: New Pond's White Beauty Advertisement Features Neha Dhupia Pwning Wheaty-Skinned Priyanka Chopra. 

Cut for the non-dial-up-friendly pics. )

Let it also be noted that this is a wonderful way for two leading names in Bollywood to exploit the fawning masses. Saif Ali Khan cheerfully plays a dickhead who ditches his twu wuv because her skin tone turns him off and Priyanka Chorpa plays the bimbo who will bleach her face white to get him back. Very commedable, you lot. Catch me buying a single movie of yours again. 

I'm serious. I'm so damn infuriated with this woman-hating industry that I feel like binning my entire collection of Bollywood DVDs. At least then I wouldn't have this collusion to stamp out any semblance of women's lib from the Eastern hemisphere on my conscience. 

Listen up, you pea-brained bimbos. You wanna know who the most beautiful woman in Bollywood is?



Suck. It. Up.
ladymirth: (bucket dance)

Anybody who has been reading my LJ for any length of time now knows of my Greate and t00by love for Jab We Met, the cutest Bollywood musical to come out this decade. I haveth done my part to spread its glory throughout the world. I have pimped it and pimped it and pimped it. [personal profile] purplephoenix03has actually ripped the DVD into region-free discs and shipped them all over the world, on request, to total strangers. This is a romantic comedy which is an international cult hit. 

Now I urge those of you who are Bollywood deprived, to download the movie here. At worst it's a cute little chick flick. At best it's OMG OMG HOTTIE ALERT WANT WANT WANT WANT! 

695.4 MBs. With subtitles. Go download, dangnabbit!
ladymirth: (simba)

ATTENTION FLIST! 

You know that Bollywood movie I've been raving about like a madwoman for ages now? Well, I recently poked and prodded 

[personal profile] purplephoenix03 into giving it a try and hit gold - she's as head over heels in love with it as I am. It is the cutest, neatest, most adorable chick flick musical ever to come out of Bollywood, encapsulating the authentic richness and nuances of Indian culture and traditions with elements of the modern road movie, coming together to provide India's answer to When Harry Met Sally(Did someone say Hum Tum? What? Boo.)

So,[personal profile] purplephoenix03, being the unbelieveably awesome woman she is, is going to copy the the movie and post it free of charge to anybody who comments on this post of hers, within the next 24 hours. While you're there, check out her awesome India picspam. I had a notion to do the self-same thing myself, since I'm sure that Bollywood isn't an easily accesible phenomenon for most of you, but between the sickness of my hard drive and the deadness of my combo drive, it turned out to be a touch impossible. =/ 

C'mon guys. Give it a whirl. At worst it's a cute little chick flick where people burst into song unexpectedly and people behave in quaint Asian ways. At best it's OMG OMG WHO IS THAT GUY? I WANT I WANT I WANT! 

Ahem. Well. 

P.S Remember the 24 hour time limit. Just comment with your address (they're screened). RUN!

 

 

ladymirth: (right here)
...trawling through Youtube sites for clips and interviews and until your brain short-circuits and shrivels up from the accompanying comments.

I found this cute little interview with Shahid for my pains, so my near-lobotomy was not in vain.

Is it just me or does he look a bit like Saif Ali Khan here? Whut?!



I find it interesting that the fifth Shahid-Kareena film (and possibly the last, if they're holding out for a script to trump Jab We Met) is yet to be released. I am keeping my fingers crossed for Milenge Milenge, which is reportedly due to come out on Feb 15, as I want both these actors to succeed. Kareena and Shahid are both very talented people with great chemistry and have endured a lot over the media and public speculation over their relationship and subsequent break-up. I admire their maturity and professionalism, and they deserve to be recognized.

But from the clips I've seen so far, it looks like a typical Bollywood movie, so I'm thinking average grosser at best. Still, a lot of audiences will be very open to the Shahid-Kareena chemistry after Jab We Met, so if the script doesn't suck completely, they should be able to capitalize on that. Plus, Shahid looks adorably badass, and the role looks so different from that of Aditya Kashyap's that a lot of females are bound to be intrigued. Films have made blockbusters on much less. Take Dhoom 2, for instance. The only thing that stopped audiences from demanding their money and two and half hours of their life back from the producers of that movie was Hrithik Roshan. He delivered the most iconic performance of his life in a movie that would otherwise been fit only for the people on YouTube to sneer at. He made the movie a superhit and the movie made him into an overnight sex symbol. Go figure.

Shahid has the looks, the talent and the moves. If he's not criminally stupid, he can carry this movie. I have faith in him. Kareena's talent is far superior to Shahid's and it shows whenever she's in the hands of a good director who recognizes this. However, like I said, this is sure to be a typical Bollywood flick, and I doubt her role is going to allow for anything revoloutionary. Everybody seems to blame her for breaking up with Shahid, the guys think she's slutty and would rather watch Bipasha Basu and the girls can't stand her for some reason. But then, this is Bollywood, and it's an eternal game of Misogyny Ahoy! in those parts. Poor Kareena. I like you. You'll show them yet, girl. They said a lot of the same things about your sister before she hit it big too.

Here's to Milenge Milenge! Good luck, kids. Can't wait.

Meanwhile, let's see if I can get a life. You know you've hit rock bottom when you find yourself reading YouTube comments until midnight.

ladymirth: (simba)
The whole depression gig meant that I didn't have a lick of interest in movies, right? So I went for three months without buying a single one. Which for me, is some kind of record. 

Now I've got rid of the pestilential thing once and for all (I officially came off the anti-depressants on Monday and am so far without side-effects) I decided to celebrate by doing a spot of catching up. Therefore, I went out and bought (as in paid good money for) the following:

1. Ratatouille
2. The Emperor's New Groove
3. Underdog
4. Ishq Vishk
5. Vivah
6. Chup Chup Ke
7. 36 China Town
8. Aaja Nachle
9. Om Shanti Om
10. Chak De! India
11. Taare Zameen Par

Yes, I am on a major Shahid Kapoor kick. I blame this all on Jab We Met. I am now firmly convinced I like Kareena Kapoor, although I think he looks cuter with Amrita Rao. (Btw, how exactly does a guy go from dating Kareena Kapoor, sex kitten extraordinaire, to hooking up with Amrita Rao? I guess Shahid found that the behen ji look was more to his taste after all. See, people? The morals in Bollywood movies are all true.)

Total money spent on DVD within the day = Rs. 2600. In terms of purchasing power in SL, that is roughly equivalent to USD 260. In terms of currency exchange rates, that comes to US$ 26. Which means life would be really lavish over here if I were earning in dollars, but since I'm not, somebody should take away my ATM card before I empty my entire savings account on DVDs. 

I'm already regretting buying Vivah. Cannot believe it was a box-office hit. What in the world are the Indian audiences thinking? For my part, I feel extremely sorry for the people who had to watch that movie without the fast-forward button handy. 

I have no idea why Aaja Nachle was panned by critics so badly. Granted, they are critics and so their tastes are as alien from that of the general public as Roger Ebert's is from the rest of the human race, but still. I mean, okay, the choreography sucks a bit, but those are some pretty damn fine performances, yo. And it's Madhuri Dixit! That woman's charisma makes SRK look like a overblown cartoon character. Venus forever, my liege. Plus, that guy from Rang De Basanti is positively edible. Roll over, Hrithik Roshan.

I'm currently enjoying Ishq Vishk immensely. It's a typical Bollywood boy-meets-girl college flick, but it has a lot of heart and there's something genuinely likeable about it. I also understand now why Rediff.com has Shahid pegged as a baby-faced Shah Rukh Khan wannabe, because the way that boy imitates SRK's best moves is nothing short of hilarious. But it was his debut film and he has learned wisdom since. Besides, I think it's cute. It's heartwarming to see how well he lives up to his early potential in Jab We Met. Career-best performance indeed. If that doesn't shut Rediff up, nothing will. 

It kind of annoys me that Amrita is getting typecast into roles like this, just because of her big brown eyes and wil o' wisp looks. That girl has loads of talent but she isn't going to get anywhere if she keeps getting pigeon-holed into girl-next-door roles. So far I feel like she's played the same role in every single movie she's acted in, only with different names. 

I've watched Ratatouille many times, but it's one of those movies that you need to own. It's Pixar, yo, so it goes without saying that it really is that good. I bought Emperor's New Groove because I wanted to see what [personal profile] purplephoenix03's new icon was all about, so that's up next. 

Two and a half down, 9.5 to go. If anybody needs me, I'll be in front of the TV, slowly devolving into the Couch Potato Woman.
ladymirth: (super hug)
Well, it had to happen somewhere of course, and it would be in the HP fandom:

Jab We Met - Harry Potter style. 

The author seems very young, but the story is off to a promising start, considering. I hope she keeps at it. 

Nor do I believe that is the last of the lot. I bet if I braved all the teeny-bopper Mary Sues in Fictionalley I'd find Jab We Met retold many times over to a variety of ships. Personally, I think it would work best with Draco/Ginny, although Harry/Ginny works quite well too. 

*is DED of the cute* 

Oh, when the Harry Potter fangirl collides with the rabid Shahid Kapoor fangirl...

Well, it had to happen. Shahid Kapoor has got the bespectacled boy wizard hearthrob schtick down pat. Seriously, all he needs is a lightning bolt scar, and Dan Rad can kiss his ass. 

But now I want to write Jab We Met fanfic. Yes, my poor eljay, after all those Shah Rukh Khan movies, it is the Shahid-Kareena that made me start considering Bollywood fanfic

That is one dangerous movie, is Jab We Met. It sucks you in, invades your mind and makes you sad that they broke up, even when you never gave a rat's ass about Shahid and Kareena Kapoor before. 

Is it possible for me to be more completely in love with this movie? It's the When Harry Met Sally of our generation and hemisphere.

*squishsmishglompaglomptackletacklesquish* 

Also, by the author of the above, in response to a review: 

I'm seriously sick of the Shahid-Kareena break up topic. Anyway, Kareena looks like Shahid's mum :D Thanks for reviewing! :)

Aha. Ahaha. Ahahaha. Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

*is fourteen again*
ladymirth: (*gulp*)
Jab We Met is the best damn thing to happen to Bollywood cinema in decades. 

Let's take a look at the two stars, shall we? I have no love for Kareena Kapoor. Acting is in her blood, and she has delivered quite a few laudable performances in Ashok, Chameli and even Don. Unfortunately however, I was introduced to her through the Karan Johar's cinematic monstrosity Khabie Khushi Khabie Gam, the major-most WTF moment in Indian blockbuster history. Her overblown, wince-worthy performance as Pooja (I'm sorrry - Poo) all but made me break out in hives. Plus, I find her sister to be easier on the eyes. So I am supremely wary of the woman.  

Shahid Kapoor has been a complete non-entity to me since his unfortunate debut in Fida. Next to the supremely hot badassery of Fardeen Khan, Shahid merely came across as a short-ass Hrithik Roshan wannabe who looked nothing more than a leaping, wriggling sprat-creature of a humanoid with emo bangs. I remember wondering who the fuck thought he could carry off a starring role. No love for him there too. 

So you can see why I had to be dragged off kicking and screaming to see Jab We Met, despite it's many positive reviews. The prospect of sitting for two and a half hours of a meet-cute between Kareena and Shahid, who had about as much chemistry as mold and wet cardboard in Fida, felt like a karmic bitchslap from a past life. 

Boy was I wrong. In fact, I expect to be completely correct in all the pre-judgements I make for the next month, simply to create a cosmic counterbalance to how completely wrong I was in my prejudices about Jab We Met. 


I'm not trying to diss on SRK in favour of Shahid. The boy has talent, but SRK is stil the more experienced, accomplished actor whom I still retain a certain fondness for, despite his annoying penchant for screen-hogging. I'm just rejoicing that the new blood coming into Bollywood cinema isn't as hopeless as we originally imagined. If that boy plays his cards right, he could easily fill SRK's shoes as Bollywood's most bankable talent within the next ten years.
 
Kudos also go out to the director and writer, who takes a rather half-hearted storyline and turns it into a masterpiece with great direction and realistic and witty dialogue. The soundtracks deserve a whole review to themselves, all of them being catchier than the sniffles and which keep getting stuck inside your head like half-chewed bubble-gum sticks to a shoe. It's very difficult to get tired of hearing them anytime soon. 

Anyway, my point is: WATCH JAB WE MET. It's not a movie that'll be emulated anytime soon. It's not just a must-see, it's a must buy. If only to ogle Shahid Kapoor and the black-shirted forearms of Pr0n. 

ladymirth: (ring)
Bollywood, which is the Indian version of Hollywood, is famous for two things - cheestastic yet oddly lovable movies and a proliferation of music that is a religion unto itself, even if you don't like the movies they appear in.

I admit, I am one such devotee. This is mainly a New Year's gift to [profile] belladonna_tb , who introduced me to the glory of Rascal Flatts, but it's also an attempt to see if I can convert any of you other Western folks' musical sensibilities to appreciate the Mumbai vibes. =) I'm also including links to the videos, because I find that heightens my appreciation of the songs themselves.

I know that this stuff is all old hat to [profile] elluxion , [profile] lostprincess87 , [profile] dm_hpcrazy  and [personal profile] purplephoenix03 , so I ask them to kindly yawn and scroll down. Nothing for you to see here, folks. ;-)

Kal Ho Na Ho (Tomorrow May Never Come) is one of the most beloved Hindi films to come out this decade, and its title song played on everyone's radio in the Eastern hemisphere for longer than "My Heart Will Go On". It also skyrocketed the already major Bollywood star Shah Rukh Khan's career to new heights. (Video)

The second most popular song in the film, Maahi Ve (My Love), arguably stayed on the air waves even longer, because it's just one of those that are way too catchy and upbeat to really die. Within months of the films release, school girls all over over South Asia had memorized the dance routine and it became a pop cultural sensation. (Video)

A more recent Shah Rukh Khan film, Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna (Never Say Goodbye), despite a star-studded cast, stunning sets and gorgeous musical scores had a script that was doomed from the start. I don't think anybody had very much love for this movie, but the title song was a mega-hit. (Video)

Mitwa (My Friend), also a song of this movie, is one of those songs that make you feel unreasonably happy every time you hear it. This song was made for an award-winning dance routine, and I had high hopes for a repeat of the "Maahi Ve" era, but it was not to be. I was thoroughly disappointed to see the half-assed choreography that had been afforded for this wonderful little number. (Video)

Tu Jahan (Wherever You Are) is a hauntingly beautiful, melancholy melody that originated from a rather unlikely source - Salaam Namaste, which was a romantic comedy hit. The movie itself is, in the words of [personal profile] purplephoenix03, "cheesy, improbable and cutesy as all hell". It's one of my favourites, largely owing to the funny and the phenomenal chemistry between Saif Ali Khan and Preity Zinta (formerly of Kal Ho Na Ho fame). Plus, Saif spends a large amount of time without his shirt on, which more than makes up for the fact that the last scene of the movie was a shameless Nine Months rip-off. *nods at this logic* (Video)

Rasiya (Lover), is a soundtrack from one of the great Bollywood classics of our time, Mangal Pandey: The Rising. Unbelievably erotic and yet restrained with it's lesbian overtones and heterosexual love scene coupled with the spice of gypsy abandon, I find the choreography on this video one of the best executed in the industry. The music itself is so evocative that our imaginations alone would have been enough, but the video actually brings the fantasy to life...in a more PG-13 way. *g* (Video)

Sare Sapne Kahin Kho Gaye is not from a film, but a stand-alone album number from the famous playback singer Alka Yagnik, and has been one of the songs closest to my heart from childhood. The song itself is mellow and haunting and romantic enough, but the video was one of the sweetest I have ever yet seen,and the actress that starred in it was one of the prettiest. I hunted for this one far and wide, but this is the best I could do. The quality isn't the best, but it's the only place I could actually find it. Ah, internets, you have failed me! YouTube, what good are you? (Video)

I will understand if this isn't everyone's cup of tea, especially since this is a whole different genre, but I'm interested in what you think. Feedback, peoples?

(All songs are linked to downloadable sendspace files and all videos linked to YouTube, except the last one.)

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