I'm not making this shit up. Flip to page 484.
Jesus. *is awestruck at some people's brains*
What is with you and making Tim wear racy red cocktail dresses? No, really, is it a fandom-wide fetish? It's not even genderswap, you just want him to wear a dress, whether he be bottom or top. I do not understand how this idea came to be.
But please keep doing it.
A twisted Dick/Tim shipper.
I have several stories in mind, and Harvey and Rachel are alive in all of them. There are ways to keep the existential angst up and running without blowing up people (who aren't even Katie Holmes) as plot devices, IMO. There is no reason Harvey can't still struggle with multiple personality disorder even without getting half his
( minor to major spoilers for anyone who still hasn't watched The Dark Knight. (Do they even exist?) )
On a side note, I realize I have never mentioned that Batman Begins is my favourite movie of all time. Seeing as this is despite the presence of Katie Holmes (from whom my soul has recoiled in horror since her Dawson's Creek days) and the existence of Peter Jackson's cinematic masterpieces on this earth, it is a pretty high compliment. I fangirl it worse than the writers of Cracked.com do.
So, uh, to come back to my NaNoWriMo plots. I have decided to stick to Nolanverse and operate free of the comics canon, mostly because the comics were giving me a headache. And don't even talk to me about Batman Beyond, unless it's to tell me where to send my therapist's bills. However, that doesn't mean I'm not going to let myself
I've mapped about ten stories that takes place one after the other, starting from a post AU TDK setting. Here they are:
( Beware of rabid plot bunnies within. )
There is nothing that necessitates me writing the stories in order of continuity, and I'm quite certain I'll never be able to write all of them. So your ideas and opinions would be appreciated. =) Also, if any of the plot bunnies strike your fancy, please feel free to take.
Now all I have to do is contemplate actually writing any of this stuff without freaking out.
*privately mourns Rose/ Scorpius story*
For the love of God, ENOUGH with the Batman/ Joker pairing already! I mean, I have nothing against BDSM slash but did you even see the same movie I did?! I find it extremely disturbing how many of you find a garish, green-haired sociopath with no concept of dental hygiene sexy. Also, I know Gary Oldman's Gordon is very cuddly, but IMO, Gordon/ Batman is about as wrong as Alfred/Bruce. (And don't let that give you any ideas!)
Also, FYI, Harley Quinn is the most annoying piece of shit that ever appeared in The Animated Series and nearly all your OCs are Mary Sues who make Bella Swann seem like a revolutionary brand of feminist heroine. I'd venture into the Batman comics fandom, but my tolerance for spandex-clad superheroes only stretch to Lois and Clark and the X-Men cartoon series. Also, there is not enough DO NOT WANT in the world for Dick/Bruce slash. Can you say Daddycest?
However, I am willing to feed an unholy amount of reviews to anyone who wants to write Dick/ Bruce father-son fics, or fics pairing Brce with Harvey Dent, Selena Kyle or Andrea Beaumont. Or any half-way decent OC, really, presuming those are allowed to exist in this fandom.
I wouldn't mind, really, but it is severely trying to belong to a half-a-dozen Batman Begins communities and still have to dig through FF.net to find decent fic to read.
A fanfic deprived fangirl.
P.S: Appropos of nothing, but have you guys noticed that Christian Bale has sexy helmet hair? How does the guy do it?
Meet Lady Altair.
She is only 20 years old and writes some of the best HP fic known to man.
Please proceed to read every one of her stories, even though you don't care about the characters/ hate the characters/ is dubious about the premise. Your reservations won't matter past the first chapter, because you won't have them anymore. She doesn't write slash (more's the pity) and she writes as close to canon as possible.
I shall personally rec the following:
Chase This Light: COMPLETE. The story of how Draco Malfoy fell in love with his wife. I've always loved fanon Draco, but this one characterization is firmly rooted in canon. I started out as a person who denied the very existence of Astoria Malfoy, but by the end of the seven chapters I'm totally shipping them.
Must be Genetic: As the spoilt daughter of an award-winning boxer, October "Toby" Dursley knows exactly how to put bullies like Scorpius Malfoy in their place. It is rather curious however, that the girl who looks so much like Lily Evans doesn't have a lick of potions talent, a fact that is speedily remedied by a chance encounter with a portrait that is very handy with the subject...(LOLZ and Awws galore!)
Eight in the Morning On second thought, Aurors Harry Potter and Ron Weasley would much rather be dealing with brawling witches with itchy wands than at home dealing with hormonal wives and monster children. A one-shot purely for lulz.
For Now The Order of the Phoenix say good-bye as each comrade falls. A haunting one-shot that should not be read without some industrial-sized Kleenex handy.
And now I'm off to read some more. The wise among you will follow suit.
The fic I was writing for lostprincess87might as well have been titled Malleus Maleficarum because he fucking turned everything I was writing into canon! I'm not sure whether to love or hate Kripke's brain.
Half of it's canon already! Yay, Kripke, your brain is a great place to live in!
P.S: I know it sounds like a Mary Sue, but Mona is actually a very flawed character so I don't think it'll read like one. I hope not, anyway. I can't help it that all hetfic in SPN comes across as at least marginally Suestastic. They want us to slash the boys, I tells ya.
Jab We Met - Harry Potter style.
The author seems very young, but the story is off to a promising start, considering. I hope she keeps at it.
Nor do I believe that is the last of the lot. I bet if I braved all the teeny-bopper Mary Sues in Fictionalley I'd find Jab We Met retold many times over to a variety of ships. Personally, I think it would work best with Draco/Ginny, although Harry/Ginny works quite well too.
*is DED of the cute*
Oh, when the Harry Potter fangirl collides with the rabid Shahid Kapoor fangirl...
Well, it had to happen. Shahid Kapoor has got the bespectacled boy wizard hearthrob schtick down pat. Seriously, all he needs is a lightning bolt scar, and Dan Rad can kiss his ass.
But now I want to write Jab We Met fanfic. Yes, my poor eljay, after all those Shah Rukh Khan movies, it is the Shahid-Kareena that made me start considering Bollywood fanfic.
That is one dangerous movie, is Jab We Met. It sucks you in, invades your mind and makes you sad that they broke up, even when you never gave a rat's ass about Shahid and Kareena Kapoor before.
Is it possible for me to be more completely in love with this movie? It's the When Harry Met Sally of our generation and hemisphere.
Also, by the author of the above, in response to a review:
I'm seriously sick of the Shahid-Kareena break up topic. Anyway, Kareena looks like Shahid's mum :D Thanks for reviewing! :)
Aha. Ahaha. Ahahaha. Bwahahahahahahahahaha!
*is fourteen again*
Today, I stumbled onto a post-DH mulit-chaptered WIP fic on Schnoogle. I normally don't read H/D unless it's pre-DH or AU, because the Ginny-bashing most H/D authors indulge in simply turns me off. I've never been able to get into H/G myself, but that's only because I can't see any chemistry between them at all, and not because I hate Ginny. On the contrary, I love Ginny, and I love Ginny/Draco as much as Harry/Draco. Maybe they should have a threesome....(hmmm)
But I digress. Some good angel prompted me to give this a try and right from the start, the author's remarkable skill in writing drew me in inspite of myself. The characterization is superb and the evolution of events extremely realistic. The only point I disagreed with was the author's assertion that Harry wasn't even having wet dreams about Ginny and simply saw her part of his fantasy of having a real family. Now that is simply non-canonical and even a biological impossibility, in my opinion. Harry may be a love-starved war-veteran and bi-sexual for the purposese of the story, but I don't think an eighteen-year-old can avoid wanking off to the thought of his sexy ex-girlfriend unless he had his balls surgically removed. However, that doesn't really detract from the story, so I can overlook it.
Anyway, vastly impressed by the writing, I checked to see who the author was and found - you guessed it, Fourth Rose.
Check it out for yourselves: Not In The Hands Of Boys.
My muse visited very suddenly this evening, bearing a delicious Ron/Hermione missing moment one-shot with her. Of course I jumped on it. But halfway through writing it, this little ancedote wrote itself. I swear! It's not much, a PWP drrabble-like thing, really, but it amused me, so I'm going to post it up here just for kicks.
We all grieved when Harry's phoenix wand snapped in two, but what about the wand Hermione lost?
Summary: Remus - centric. Traces the origin of his lycanthropy and the Lupins' inter-laced history with Greyback. PG-13. Kicks serious ass. Multi-chaptered WIP.
And this I've been wanting to throw in here for some time.
Teddy Lupin and the Forest Guard by FernWithy.
Summary: The definitive treatment of the Teddy Lupin saga. Multi-chaptered, WIP, rated PG. Utter fabulousness made prose. Nuff said.
First Checkmated and now Sugarquill. Sometimes I wonder why on earth I should feel like writing anything when there are a whole bunch of geniuses clearly writing it all.
How blasphemous is it, that I think these people write better than Joanne Rowling? What are these people doing writing fanfic? Not that I'm complaining, mind...
Mirror Messages by ThereThere
Summary: R/Hr. A multi-generational series of quaint chronicles told from Ron's POV. Sounds like fluff, but there's a deeper meaning that tugs at your heart strings and tear ducts. Feel-good story. No angst. Rated PG.
Also a beautiful Bill-centric one-shot, chronicling the evolution of his relationship with Charlie as brothers.
25 (Fluffy) Random Brotherhood Tales about Bill and Charlie Weasley.
Summary: Bill's life in 25 snap shots, from being the little 'Illy' who was the center of his parents' attention, to the start of his life as a young father. Very realistic and well-written. Funny, witty and heart-warming.
Is it just me or are ALL the best writers in the HP fandom congregating at Checkmated? It's very hard not to find an at least halfway decent fic there. It's creepy! When did HP fanfic become this advanced?
And the lucky lady is....Sarah Rees Brennan, a.k.a Maya, a.k.a mistful! Name seems familiar, people?
That's because I've been her self-proclaimed Official Fanfiction Pimp for the past ten entries. My One True God Queen, remember? Yes, our own beloved Maya! So excuse me while I SQUEEE!! the living daylights out of LJ!!!
Author Joan Swann, says it all:
I was browing the most recent Lunch delux from Publishers Weekly. I always like to see what things are selling, to whom, by whom and of course, how much they're going for.
For those of you who don't subscribe to PW or get their free Lunch every Tuesday, they break down the reported sales figures by $ amount. Here's the scale:
"nice deal" $1 - $49,000
"very nice deal" - $50,000 - $99,000
"good deal" - $100,000 - $250,000
"significant deal" - $251,000 - $499,000
"major deal" - $500,000 and up
I, personally, think its a little screwed up. I think the "good" and "nice" should be switched -- to me, a "nice" deal sounds better (like bigger bucks) than a "good" deal.
But...that's beside the point.
As I'm scanning through romance and then general fiction, I see a lot of "nice deal"s. A "very nice deal" or two.
Then BAM--I hit this:
Sarah Rees Brennan's debut urban fantasy trilogy starting with THE DEMON'S LEXICON, about two brothers hunted throughout England by a powerful magician's circle after their mother steals a charm and when the eldest is marked by a demon, the younger uses swords and dark arts in an effort to save him but unwittingly uncovers the darkest of secrets, to Karen Wojtyla at Margaret K. McElderry Books, in a major deal, at auction, by Kristin Nelson at Nelson Literary Agency (world English).
The key words in here are DEBUT and MAJOR DEAL.
Translated that is her FIRST BOOK sold for over HALF A MILLION DOLLARS.
Okay...excuse me, but H-O-L-Y S-H-I-T.
Frankly I'm astounded...that it has taken so long for the person who wrote If You've A Ready Mind to be discovered. Maya is a writer who starts out wth honest intentions of writing crack fic and inadvertently ends up writing classics. You have to know this about her, or at least keep a fairly open mind, when beginning her work though. It's a trend. I first discovered her through her post DH fic Coda to the Epilogue, even though I had read and ruptured a few internal organs laughing over her Harry Potter movie parodies beforehand.
However, I didn't get reading the rest of her stories at once, mostly because they were Draco-centric,and mostly Harry/Draco. I had lost interest in that pairing for years now, and it has been my painful experience that very few epople can write fanon Draco without getting annoying or starting bashing Weasleys. And the premises all looked like crack fic. Her stories included the following:
Drop Dead Gorgeous. This is a Veela! Harry fic. Yes, you heard me right. A fic wherein the grown up, Auror Harry not only is irrevocably homosexual and partnered with Mulder! Draco but also finds that his mother was a part-Veela and his own latent Veela powers are going haywire. This is a crack fic, right? A little, although apparently not altogether. Normally I would find this kind of fanfic as appealing as the Black Plague, but heartened by the knowledge that the author who wrote Coda wouldn't be that barf-worthy, I delved in bravely. My sanguine nature has never been more rewarded. Not only was it side-splittingly hilarious, but it was genuine and heartfelt and totally addictive. To my dying day I shall be baffled at the fact that I became a hard-core H/D shipper after reading a Veela! Harry fic, of all things.
Quality Of Mercy. A post-HPB fic which featured Draco Malfoy being embraced by the Weasley family Even if I had had any interest in reading post HPB fics after reading Deathly Hallows, this kind of fluffy premise would be anathema to my very soul. But one rainy morning I made myself give it a try and....it was unbelievable! Not only was it written in a completely convincing and serious manner without ever forsaking her trademark undercurrent of hilarity, but it proved that Maya was far from being simply a comic writer. Her handling of angst, emotion and morality is intricate and phemomenal. This is best highlighted in her dark one-shot, Your Every Wish.
After that, I learnt to not to judge a story by its premise, ever. Her premises continue to put me off to the point that I have to persuade myself to read it, and am bowled over every time. The Badger Series is a trilogy is centered on Zacharius Smith, of all people. Draco Malfoy, The Amazing Bouncing Rat made me weary just reading the title, because the whole Draco-as-ferret-like-rodent deal has been just about beaten to death by fandom by now, besides being a Dramione fic. If You've A Ready Mind is an AU which explores what might have happened if Draco was sorted into Ravenclaw. My reaction to that premise was that he would probably have turned into an academically-inclined narcissistic git, instead of being merely a narcissitic git, yawn. And that turned out to be the story that cemented my love for Draco Malfoy forever and for always. The only work I haven't read yet is her debut fic, which contnues to be her most famous, Underwater Light.
Go check them out.
Now, we all know I can't write worth a dime myself. Or at least, that my gnat-like attention span is singularly unconducive to carrying out the ambitious epics my brain insists on presenting me with. However, the universe has compensated by giving me a accurate pimping proclivities, and a capacity for unabashed, unreserved, enthusiastic, creepy, border-line stalkerish admiration of those who I deem CAN write. That's right folks, I'm a fangirl waiting to happen. And it just so happens that I fangirl the winners. Those FoLCs on my flist will remember the house-elf like devotion I continue to bestow upon one Lynn M, that peerless pearl of Lois and Clark fanfiction, who gifted us with gems such as The Butterfly Legacy, Rage and Haunting Eden, and then left to pursue original fiction a year back. I also predict great things for my current favourite Rachel, a.k.a SmirkyRaven of Darkest Dreams fame.
Which means that if my instincts remain true, the next in line is missile_envy! Because she did the impossible a few days ago and made me read and love an actual Severus/ Hermione fic. (It's Never That Simple) How about it Dasha?
I’m suffering from a plot bunny infestation of the worst kind. Deathly Hallows is a fanfic writers goldmine, and now I want nothing more than to shut myself up and start writing a dozen different chaptered fanfics at the same time. And I have barely time to write one, let alone five!
Catch 22, people. There’s no way I can start writing fanfic at this juncture, but I’ll probably explode if I don’t. I want to write my next gen story. I want to write about Teddy Lupin. I want to write a fic about the dead watching the living, as they continue with life in the aftermath of the war. I want to do a story on George’s healing process. I want to write a story about the life of the Trio from the ages of 18 to 29. I want to write a an adult Harry adventure, featuring a resurgence of the Hallows. I want to write about Ginny’s sixth year at Hogwarts, under the Carrows regime of terror. I want to write one-shots. I want FANFICTION, damn it!
But most of the fansites, like Sugarquill and Phoenix song are not archiving new post-DH stories till at least the 30th, and although I’ve found a few interesting one-shots already on Schnoogle, it isn’t nearly enough to appease my fanfic craving. I’m being sustained on a steady trickle of DH one-shots popping up on random LJ communities. Doggone it, people, WRITE!
I realized I had whooped about this on every forum I had access to except my own LJ. My Rose Weasley, my Mary Sue, my creation, my most adored next-gen OC and my own little secret of the last seven years.....is now officially canon!! Everytime somebody refers to Rose Weasley now, it gives me a jolt. My Rose!!!
Erm...to opt for semi-coherence, let me explain. I had a fanfic in my head ever since I first finished reading Goblet of Fire at the age of 13.
In it, Ron and Hermione have a son called Chris who dies. Since he was born to them after a couple of miscarriages, Hermione is completely devastated. Meanwhile, ten years after the defeat of Voldie, the wizarding world is in the middle of another war - just not as overt as the first one. Commander Potter of the International Wizarding Federation Peace Corps is at the fore and front of it, with socialite wife Ginny Potter working behind the scenes. The two of them try to keep the reality of their jobs away from their young children James and Sirius.
Draco is again on the wrong side of the war - his attempt to win back some of the family honour and gold, so depleted after the first war, backfires and he finds himself once again embroiled in the inner circle of the Dark wizard movement. He has fallen in love with and married a lovely Italian witch called Maria, whose family, though pure-blooded, is prominent for being outspoken against the Dark Side. They have a son called Dexter. After Maria's family is attacked and killed, Draco, fearing for the lives of his wife and son, goes to Harry and strikes a deal. If Harry can keep Draco's family safe, Draco will turn double-agent for him. Harry agrees and takes Maria and dexter under his care. He seeks the help of Ron and Hermione to do this. Ron (who is in the middle of a meteoric rise in his magical corporate career) sends Maria and Dex to their family's summer home.
Hermione is also there, trying to come to terms with her son's death. The presence of the baby boy in her home is one which initially exacerbates, but later heals, her loss. She forms a very strong bond with the little Malfoy, and soon becomes close friends with his spirited mother.
However, despite Harry's best efforts, a miscalculation on Draco's part leads to the eventual capture and murder of Maria. According to Maria's last wish, Hermione begins to raise Dexter as her foster son, although he is officially Harry's ward. Meanwhile, although accepting that Dexter's presence in their lives makes Hermione happy, Ron has reservations about the boy, primarily as he is a Malfoy and quite Slytherin-esque in his behaviour. Little Dexter detects this about him - he sees Harry as his father-figure, and accepts the Potters as his family. He worships Hermione as his mother, yet dislikes Ron. Soon after, Hermione and Ron have another child - Rose Weasley, who is the apple of her father's eye. Ginny and Harry also has a child the same year - Lily Hermione Potter. Dexter is very jealous of baby Rose, who he sees as competition for Hermione's affection.
The war ends when Dex is 7, and Rose and Lily are only 5. Draco returns for his son, and it is revealed that he has remarried according to his parents wishes, and has two other children. Hermione and Dexter are devastated and Harry pleads with Draco to allow Dex to stay on with the Weasleys, as it is obviously what Dex wants. However, Draco accuses Harry of stealing his son's affection and allowing Maria to be murdered. Unable to accept his own culpability in the demise of the woman he loves, he blames Harry wholly. He forcibly takes Dex and leaves the country with his family. Dex feels betrayed that Harry and Hermione let Draco take him, and hates Draco for ripping him from the only family he has known at the whim of a father he barely remembers. He cannot relate to his stepmother, who is very different to his own mother, nor can he stand his spoilt half-siblings. He grows up to be a very rebellious youth.
Dexter is home-schooled abroad till he is almost 13 years old, at which point Draco mysteriously decides to return to Britain and Dexter is sent to Hogwarts. There he meets the Potter children, rekindling his friendship with Sirus Potter. Lily Potter has been sorted into Slytherin, and she and Rose are only a year below him. Dexter, Lily and Rose form an unlikely friendship, although there exists a certain antagonistic vibe between Rose and Dex. Ron's prejudice against the Malfoys influences Rose and aggravates Dex, who does not want to be associated with Draco, despite being his favourite child and heir. He is closest to Lily, as they are more alike in temperament and regards her as a sister. However, the childhood playful antagonism between Rose and Dex quickly changes to something more as electric and confusing as they grow up.
Meanwhile, Dexter has many fences to mend. He rebuffs the advances of the elder Potters and Hermione. He gradually reconciles with all of them, yet he is suspicious that Harry's paternal gestures and mentoring have an agenda behind them. Consequent events prove him right - Harry is preparing his for something. The mantle of secrets and lies that the adults around him wear continue to frustrate him, as he tries to find his own destiny despite them.
Meanwhile, Lily Potter has fallen in love with him as surely and reluctantly as he and Rose have fallen for each other. As they grow to be young men and women, the clashes between the young and old prejudices and resentments, as well as the secrets of the past and present build toward an inevitable explosion that will have ramfications for the whole wizarding society.
And that, ladies and gents, is the fanfic that has lurked in my brain for the past seven years. I never thought it would have canon support! Excuse me while I go and dance a jig.