Thou Shalt Have No Other Cat Before Me!

[ladymirth]

For my money, this is funnier than the entire wank. 

***

puipui: Dude, my cat could come up with a religion that makes more sense than Scientology. While hopped up on catnip. From beyond the grave.

(Several exchanges later about the technicalities of the cat dying and whether it is named Schrodinger and whether it should have its name changed for security reasons once it is a leader of a religious cult, somebody offers themselves up for enlightment via Cat.) 

pastri_archy: I for one, welcome this new feline religious overlord. What would be the tenets of this new doctrine?

puipui: I've asked the cat, and here they are:

Tenets

1. Feed the cat.
2. At our most fundamental level, we are both here and not, we both exist and do not. We are at one with the universe, at one with its power, and when we learn to harness that power, we can blah blah blah religion fishcakes. Mmm, fish.
3. I said feed the cat, bitch! Again! Do it now!
4. All couch arms shall be sacrifice to your new god. BOW! BOW, I SAY!
5. Same with your bed. Gimme. Yes, the whole thing. Because I said so.
6. There is no number 6.
7. Something something something worship me, whatever, I'm going to take a nap now, don't move anything around while I'm gone.

pastri_archy: *feeds the cats as the tenets dictate* Um, I'm a college student without a sofa. You can has one end of my bed?

puipui: She says the whole bed, sorry. All your beds are belong to cat. You can have the floor, but you'll have to get up if she decides to walk there later.

***

There are a few reasons why I can't seem to stop poking in on fandom_wank, and this is one of them. 

If there is anybody on my flist who loves me vewy much, they shall make me icons of this. *puts on best kitty face*

ETA: Okay, so there are other things funnier than the Cat God, and this is one of them. I hereby claim the right to have all of narcissam's babies.

Comments

[cyad.livejournal.com]

What would happen if you quit cattering the cat without building her a cataflaque but catapulting her to Catskill instead? no catwalk tush, catnaps, catnip nor sitting in the catbird seat there but -if she's THE chinese lucky cat, catfishes packed rivers. Now what a catty dilemma: "eating or not eating the catfishes?" *g*

[laramoon.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing* This killed me: All your beds are belong to cat. I just might make an icon out of that one, really...

Thanks for the comic relief.

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

*blinks*

Have you been eating magic brownies? *giggles uncontrollably*

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

Don't thank me. I didn't come up with it. Yes, that is a very icon-worthy quote. I warn you that if you icon, I shall steal! =D

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

Your icon is made of teh ♥. Am taking the kitty home. It's too cute to be roaming around LJ alone.

Yes, I am a great cat lover. =)

[cyad.livejournal.com]

no. But I blame it on the pasta and sauce, and tea, and Ladurée macarons.

Yeah, that's definitely the macarons! *lol*

[laramoon.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thank you! I have more over here: http://laramoon.livejournal.com/28561.html

Feel free to grab and squish all you like. ;)

[laramoon.livejournal.com]

*giggles* well, if I did make an icon, the whole purpose would be for other people to steal it. ;)

[annabtg.livejournal.com]

Haha, this was my favourite out of the lot too. I'll keep an eye open for that icon, should you decide to make it, Lara. XD

See ya,
Anna.