ladymirth

The Kid Sister is usually a pain in the butt, but occasionally she does something that makes feel glad I have managed to stop myself walloping her over the head with a frying pan while growing up. Today, she's written a poem about her boy troubles, and a very good one at that. It bears traces of one who has been possessed by the spirit of Dorothy Parker. That woman is remarkably insiduous. Plus, that writing seminar I sent her off to seems to have paid off.

Anyway, I'm just going to post it up here in a show of sisterly pride. I'm rather gratified that the rhyming gene seems to  run in the family after all. I was worried I was some sort of genetic aberration. 

To the innocent lady
by koel18 

Lady, as you walk the streets,
The pretty boys will stare,
But there are ones you should not greet,
So lady, do beware.

When you're alone, there'll be one,
Who speaks words sweet and kind,
But when to him fair friends beckon,
To you, he's deaf and blind.

There's one to whom you are dirt,
He loves to make you cry,
Lady, hit him where it hurts,
As you pass him by.

And should a silver-tongued one say,
"I'd never lie to you",
Oh lady, do run fast away!
And find a friend more true.

There'll be one, not so bad,
(Good and handsome too!)
But lady, 'tis very sad-
He has no time for you.

Though I tell you this I know,
You will not heed advice,
For it takes mistakes and sorrow,
To make us fools more wise.

So lady, go on on your way,
And give romance a whirl,
You'll find your charming prince one day,
(Most likely it's a girl.)

 

I shall continue to be the proud and affectionate sister, right up until she next does something that makes me long for China's one child policy. Which should be in about ten minutes. 
 

Sis: *white-faced* *trembles from head to foot*
Me: What?
Sis: My Mechanics A/Level exam was at 11 AM not 4 PM like I thought.
Time: *is 3 pm*
Me: D: How'd that happen?  
Sis: I must have copied it down wrong!
Me: Like you copied down the date of the exam payment deadline, the date of your SATs and how many other vital dates and times wrong? 
Sis: *has woobie face* 
Me: Aaargh! *headdesk* 

(Ten minutes later)
Sis: *skips in* It's alright!
Me: *not looking up* If you're going to tell me that it's at 4 o'clock after all, so help me God...
Sis: No, no...It's just that I realized I've already taken the M2 exam paper. 
Me: *incredulous* WHAT?
Sis: Yeah, last June. 
Me: Then why the fuck did we pay for it again? 
Sis: Because I didn't get enough marks for it the first time. But the mark's still valid so it's all alright! *skips off merrily* 
Me: *attempts not to hyperventilate* 

My sister is nineteen. She is also a walking exampe of why people need to take a qualification test before being declared legal adults.