Considering the kind of “I-hate-Deathly-Hallows” tripe that’s being posted in the HP discussion forums, there comes a time when you feel like you’ve heard it all.
And then you find something like this:
At least that one had good entertainment value, instead of being a ton of semi-comprehensive vitriol about how JKR had staged a massive cop-out. However, a shocking number of people actually gave this very serious consideration – and agreed! Normally, I wouldn’t have bothered to dignify this with a reply, but I was too tickled to pass it up. Nobody I know has ever left themselves this wide open since the girl at my cafeteria, when asked to join the guys at a game of pool, said “Sorry, I totally suck at balls.”
Next up –
When I give this one an answer, it is going to be something very special. Because it is because of WOWSERs like this that people can no longer stomach the word “feminist”. Actually, that entire thread is hilarious – people are take these kinds of issues Very Seriously. The only one I felt was half-way sane was the one who said, pardon my French, “what if Rowling doesn’t give a rat’s ass about feminism”? Which is not true, btw, as this is the woman who named her first-born after Jessica Mitford.
Feel free to lend me your thoughts, people, as all of mine haven’t finished choking and sputtering from that last review, yet. They feel all the more insulting when they have good grammar.
I’m suffering from a plot bunny infestation of the worst kind. Deathly Hallows is a fanfic writers goldmine, and now I want nothing more than to shut myself up and start writing a dozen different chaptered fanfics at the same time. And I have barely time to write one, let alone five!
Catch 22, people. There’s no way I can start writing fanfic at this juncture, but I’ll probably explode if I don’t. I want to write my next gen story. I want to write about Teddy Lupin. I want to write a fic about the dead watching the living, as they continue with life in the aftermath of the war. I want to do a story on George’s healing process. I want to write a story about the life of the Trio from the ages of 18 to 29. I want to write a an adult Harry adventure, featuring a resurgence of the Hallows. I want to write about Ginny’s sixth year at Hogwarts, under the Carrows regime of terror. I want to write one-shots. I want FANFICTION, damn it!
But most of the fansites, like Sugarquill and Phoenix song are not archiving new post-DH stories till at least the 30th, and although I’ve found a few interesting one-shots already on Schnoogle, it isn’t nearly enough to appease my fanfic craving. I’m being sustained on a steady trickle of DH one-shots popping up on random LJ communities. Doggone it, people, WRITE!
Fellow review-whores, Cassie Clare has posted the best review I've read yet!
Also noteworthy is Lori Summer's take on DH.
And I only realized after it was pointed out in Lori's journal, that Ginny was totally going to offer Harry her virginity as a birthday present! Estupido me-o! If <i>only</i> Ron hadn't butted in!
And on the upside, I've finally had the whole "Mrs.Weasley-channelling-Ripley-in-
For those of you who are as in the dark about what Sigourney Weaver has to do with it, as I was, I'll explain. Apparently, in one scene, it had only been Capt Ellen Ripley and a little orphan girl left. The Alien Queen goes after the girl to kill her and Ripley chases after her yelling "get away from her, you bitch". Or something to that effect.
I realized I had whooped about this on every forum I had access to except my own LJ. My Rose Weasley, my Mary Sue, my creation, my most adored next-gen OC and my own little secret of the last seven years.....is now officially canon!! Everytime somebody refers to Rose Weasley now, it gives me a jolt. My Rose!!!
Erm...to opt for semi-coherence, let me explain. I had a fanfic in my head ever since I first finished reading Goblet of Fire at the age of 13.
In it, Ron and Hermione have a son called Chris who dies. Since he was born to them after a couple of miscarriages, Hermione is completely devastated. Meanwhile, ten years after the defeat of Voldie, the wizarding world is in the middle of another war - just not as overt as the first one. Commander Potter of the International Wizarding Federation Peace Corps is at the fore and front of it, with socialite wife Ginny Potter working behind the scenes. The two of them try to keep the reality of their jobs away from their young children James and Sirius.
Draco is again on the wrong side of the war - his attempt to win back some of the family honour and gold, so depleted after the first war, backfires and he finds himself once again embroiled in the inner circle of the Dark wizard movement. He has fallen in love with and married a lovely Italian witch called Maria, whose family, though pure-blooded, is prominent for being outspoken against the Dark Side. They have a son called Dexter. After Maria's family is attacked and killed, Draco, fearing for the lives of his wife and son, goes to Harry and strikes a deal. If Harry can keep Draco's family safe, Draco will turn double-agent for him. Harry agrees and takes Maria and dexter under his care. He seeks the help of Ron and Hermione to do this. Ron (who is in the middle of a meteoric rise in his magical corporate career) sends Maria and Dex to their family's summer home.
Hermione is also there, trying to come to terms with her son's death. The presence of the baby boy in her home is one which initially exacerbates, but later heals, her loss. She forms a very strong bond with the little Malfoy, and soon becomes close friends with his spirited mother.
However, despite Harry's best efforts, a miscalculation on Draco's part leads to the eventual capture and murder of Maria. According to Maria's last wish, Hermione begins to raise Dexter as her foster son, although he is officially Harry's ward. Meanwhile, although accepting that Dexter's presence in their lives makes Hermione happy, Ron has reservations about the boy, primarily as he is a Malfoy and quite Slytherin-esque in his behaviour. Little Dexter detects this about him - he sees Harry as his father-figure, and accepts the Potters as his family. He worships Hermione as his mother, yet dislikes Ron. Soon after, Hermione and Ron have another child - Rose Weasley, who is the apple of her father's eye. Ginny and Harry also has a child the same year - Lily Hermione Potter. Dexter is very jealous of baby Rose, who he sees as competition for Hermione's affection.
The war ends when Dex is 7, and Rose and Lily are only 5. Draco returns for his son, and it is revealed that he has remarried according to his parents wishes, and has two other children. Hermione and Dexter are devastated and Harry pleads with Draco to allow Dex to stay on with the Weasleys, as it is obviously what Dex wants. However, Draco accuses Harry of stealing his son's affection and allowing Maria to be murdered. Unable to accept his own culpability in the demise of the woman he loves, he blames Harry wholly. He forcibly takes Dex and leaves the country with his family. Dex feels betrayed that Harry and Hermione let Draco take him, and hates Draco for ripping him from the only family he has known at the whim of a father he barely remembers. He cannot relate to his stepmother, who is very different to his own mother, nor can he stand his spoilt half-siblings. He grows up to be a very rebellious youth.
Dexter is home-schooled abroad till he is almost 13 years old, at which point Draco mysteriously decides to return to Britain and Dexter is sent to Hogwarts. There he meets the Potter children, rekindling his friendship with Sirus Potter. Lily Potter has been sorted into Slytherin, and she and Rose are only a year below him. Dexter, Lily and Rose form an unlikely friendship, although there exists a certain antagonistic vibe between Rose and Dex. Ron's prejudice against the Malfoys influences Rose and aggravates Dex, who does not want to be associated with Draco, despite being his favourite child and heir. He is closest to Lily, as they are more alike in temperament and regards her as a sister. However, the childhood playful antagonism between Rose and Dex quickly changes to something more as electric and confusing as they grow up.
Meanwhile, Dexter has many fences to mend. He rebuffs the advances of the elder Potters and Hermione. He gradually reconciles with all of them, yet he is suspicious that Harry's paternal gestures and mentoring have an agenda behind them. Consequent events prove him right - Harry is preparing his for something. The mantle of secrets and lies that the adults around him wear continue to frustrate him, as he tries to find his own destiny despite them.
Meanwhile, Lily Potter has fallen in love with him as surely and reluctantly as he and Rose have fallen for each other. As they grow to be young men and women, the clashes between the young and old prejudices and resentments, as well as the secrets of the past and present build toward an inevitable explosion that will have ramfications for the whole wizarding society.
And that, ladies and gents, is the fanfic that has lurked in my brain for the past seven years. I never thought it would have canon support! Excuse me while I go and dance a jig.
I GOT HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS!!!!
But my Mum insisted we toss to see who gets to read it first, and I lost. My sis is holed up reading it, and will be holed up reading it, for the next six hours at least. Waah!
The bad news? I peeked at the end just to check whether the spoilers were true. And they were…..
Taken from www.imao.us
TOP TEN SPOILERS FOR HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS
10) Harry learns "visio correcto" spell and ditches those stupid Birth Control glasses.
9) Hogwarts Alumnus Day guest of honor - Gandalf!
8) Harry is shamed with a lifetime ban for betting on quidditch.
7) Snape and Hagrid - oh yes they are!
6) Final battle against Voldemort cancelled when Democrats vote to pull funding.
5) It's all a dream. Harry wakes up in his mother's basement to discover that he's just a 35-year-old nerd who nodded off during a game of D&D.
4) Malfoy and the Sorting Hat - oh yes they did!
3) Dumbledore only MOSTLY dead - revived by Miracle Max.
2) Voldemort is the name of Harry's sled.
and the #1 spoiler for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows...
1) Hermione is a DUDE!
Also, Ann was kind enough to post this on the selfsame folder today. I must say, it's not unfeasible.
Hermione tells all...
The release date for Last Tome of the Harry Potter chronicles has just been announced!
It's Saturday the 21st of July!
Check it out: J.K Rowling's official site.
I'm seeing a pattern here.
Release date for Order of the Phoenix: Saturday the 21st of June.
Release date for Half Blood Prince: Saturday the 16th of July.