When in Rome, do as the Spartans do.

[ladymirth]

I have had a rather adverserial relationship with S ever since I started going out with his best friend. Well, "relationship" is not the best word for it, since although he and I have frequented the same circuit since I was seventeen, the best I can say with regards to him is that I do know him from Adam (although I sometimes mistake him for Steve).

However, because the universe works in mysterious ways, he was my first crush, a year-long insanity wherein I nauseated my friends to the last degree and spoke all of three syllabals to him personally. I blame it on being sequestered for all that time in an estrogen-only environment and being as exposed to the world as your average pet goldfish. Also, he was a formidable personality in school debating circles, having debated long enough for experienced debating judges to opt out of entire school tournaments because they were so sick of seeing his face. He then joined my campus a semester after I did, and had the temerity to become its Student Council President. He also was, and continues to be, something of a pompous overacheiver.

I am not an overacheiver and I have never been anything that one might reasonably fit under the OED definition of "acheiving" even after a large amount of squeezing and much arguing of semantics. Nevertheless, I hold over-acheivers in a certain amount of awe. I am at once defensive and intimidated by over-acheivers. This held true of S. I am ashamed to say that I held him in some esteem, all-round prickworthiness notwithstanding, because I hold that a)any man with a well-stocked trophy cabinet can afford to strut a little and b) he happens to be Boy's best friend.

This last is problematic. Even though he too only knows me well enough to tell me apart from Eve at twenty paces, he apparently has conjectured enough about me to decide that he does not like yours truly all that much. The only logical thing to believe is that he still carries around the image of the rather spaced-out 17-year-old in crooked glasses who became rather weirdly giggly around him. Apparently short individuals with unfortunate braces take exception to being giggled at.

Fate is such a twisted thing that if it were human it'd be a double-jointed pedophile.

Well, apart from being slightly baffled at his attitude, I wasn't exactly crying myself to sleep over his contempt of me. However, when an individual you hold in high esteem, no matter how undeservingly, pointedly views you as beneath his notice, you tend to balk at confronting certain situations in his presence. Situations such as having to present your admittedly half-assed Critical Thinking presentation in front of him, when he has a reputation for being a talented speaker and incisive debator. Compounded with the fact that two years of inter-school-debating has not yet cured me of gibbering incomprehensibly when confronted with an audience, this was what Bertie Wooster might call "a rather rum situation".

Or it would have been if his group had not decided to present ahead of mine. For their presentation on "Gay Marriage", they decided to kick off by announcing that trothplighting between males had been very much the "in" thing in ancient Rome.

Me:o_O "Bzuh?"

CT instructor:"O Rly?"

S: "Yep, they did it for political and military reasons."

Me:"OI?"

S: "Yeah, 'cause they had gay warriors and stuff!"

Me:"Do you mean the band of Thebes?!"

S:"Uh, no it was an army. In like, you know, Sparta."

Me:"Sparta was a Greek city!

S:"No, it wasn't. It was part of the Roman Empire...right?"

Me:*cries for humanity*

Boyo was not surprised when I informed him that buddy-Boy thought 300 had been all about Rome. Apparently, S had never really "been into history" and had relied on Boyo to get him all the necessary factoids in order during school debates and used his ability to bullshit convincingly about things he didn't have the first clue about to help him the rest of the way. He also reportedly "doesn't read".

I have been swooning (even if it was at the tender age of 17) and awestruck over a man who "doesn't read" and cannot tell Athens from his left elbow.

I now feel vaguely unclean.

The upside of it all was, that I was able to get up there with my presentation ("Does pornography harm women?"), look at the formerly-feared visage of S (who had a scornful expression as if to say, "you're a girl. What would you know about porn?") and think, "You are a fathead who thinks Sparta used to be on top of the Vatican. All those hours on Redtube and you don't know shit about Greek Pederasty. I will never again care about what you think." I then proceeded to present my research without a care in the world.

Sometimes, I am glad that I am naturally inclined to be the self-deprecating sort. I suspect that, given half the chance, I would be even more insufferable than S.

Boyo, of course, thinks that I'm being unfair to S. "It is not his fault that he is not a nerd like you and me, baba," says he.

Not that I mind being called a nerd at all, but I don't think that it is fair to attribute my knowledge of Greek homosexuality and pederasty to my nerdhood. If there were a series of articles on Wikipedia on how and why extraordinarily fit Greek men used to fuck each other early and often, what would you do?

This post is brought to you by the Dead Sleepy, ItzoneoclockinthemorningZOMG and The Sheep Made Me Do It.

Comments

[pgwfolc.livejournal.com]

Life is weird that way. Although I must admit I'm impressed (not necessarily in a good way) by the idea of an illiterate debate star. I predict a long and successful career in corporate management. Or possibly teaching Critical Thinking. But... no. If he was actually good at critical thinking, he'd take the management job. He'd only be forced to fall back to teaching if he couldn't get the better option to work.

As for crushes... they were never known for being sensible. And you, from a distance, had no way of knowing what was actually going on.

But hey... it worked out for you this time. Even exhausted as you were, I'll bet you looked like a freaking genius after the Roamin' Spartans. Sometimes, the best way to break the ice is with a large blunt object.

Sorry that it strains your relationship with Boy. (Who apparently helped S cheat? More or less? What's up with that?) Hope it doesn't turn out to be too much of a roadblock.

Incidentally (ignoring the fatigued typos, which I totally understand)... For some reason, it's supposed to be "a year" even if "an year" makes more sense. It's tricky with h-words, too. ("A help." "A hero." "An honest man.") And, assuming you meant "fate is," you want the singular later in the sentence. "They," though gender-neutral, is plural. More importantly, however... spooning is where you curl up together like two spoons in a drawer. Swooning is where you girlishly faint. Small but important difference. [/GE]

Moving on... Nerdiness is something to be proud of, not to "not mind".

But I can honestly say that if I found myself reading an article about extraordinarily fit Greek men, it would be for purely nerdy reasons.

[never-evil.livejournal.com]

Me:"Sparta was a Greek city!
S:"No, it wasn't. It was part of the Roman Empire...right?"


Ahahaha I think it is so brilliant how clueless he was about his topic. But I am sort of in surprised awe that he managed to come this far without anyone noticing.

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

Although I must admit I'm impressed (not necessarily in a good way) by the idea of an illiterate debate star.

Well, he has a very good vocabulary for someone who doesn't like reading. Maybe it was by doing all that drama. He is an excelllent actor.

IDEK. I still can't fathom the idea of a debator who doesn't like reading.

(Who apparently helped S cheat? More or less? What's up with that?)

It wasn't cheating. Boy was on the same debate team as S, so he did the actual research and fact-checking for them. And its not a strain, per se, just something that pisses him off sometimes.

Thank you for the edit. I do know this stuff, but I don't suppose they penetrated my sleepy haze. xD

But I can honestly say that if I found myself reading an article about extraordinarily fit Greek men, it would be for purely nerdy reasons.
That's because you're boringly straight. Hot gay sex is where its at! *g*

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

Well, this is Sri Lanka. The poor are to uneducated to even pick out Greece on a map, the middle-class is too busy trying to turn out doctors and lawyers and engineers and businessmen to care and the rich elite are too busy partying. You'd be lucky if your average undergraduate knew that the Roman Empire even existed.

*sigh*

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I dunno. It doesn't seem to make much sense to me, either. Except, as mentioned... management material.

(Seriously... who in this day and age would choose illiteracy? I mean, you can't even txt msg, let alone IM, email, blog...)

It wasn't cheating. Boy was on the same debate team as S, so he did the actual research and fact-checking for them.

I guess. Still seems kind of iffy, even if it is within the bounds of the rules. Some fact-checking, I understand. Carrying the entire weight of actual knowledge for a fellow team member... that's something else, IMHO.

Thank you for the edit. I do know this stuff, but I don't suppose they penetrated my sleepy haze. xD

Know that feeling. Assumed that was much of it. Thanks for taking it so well. I just figured... your English is so good and technically correct, but you're not a native speaker. Sometimes, under those circumstances, pointing out a missed detail can be helpful. Wouldn't have mentioned, even so, except for the spooning thing, which just changes the whole meaning of the sentence. (Although it is more fun this way...)

That's because you're boringly straight. Hot gay sex is where its at!

This is a point. But you've got it backwards. It's hot girls who should be making out...

[pgwfolc.livejournal.com]

(Sorry. Forgot I wasn't logged in on this comp. I was, not that long ago, but I guess this is a new browser session... *shrug*)

[roaringsprite.livejournal.com]

Just to add a quick thought.... your viewpoint of buddy boy does NOT piss me off in the slightest, I look upon it as well justified retaliation!