ladymirth: (one with the universe)
[personal profile] ladymirth
Dear Flu,

It's been five godawful days. Shouldn't you have at least started letting up by now? If I have to spend the weekend in bed as well, there will be consequences.

Also, enough with the dry heaving already! I do not appreciate this forced intimacy with the porcelain goddess.  Bleaurgh, to you too, sucker!

Fuck you very much,

(no subject)

Date: 2009-06-26 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Dear Hasini's Flu,

You are a mean and godawful evil thing. Please do us the courtesy of leaving, or I may have to come and expel you myself. This whole coughing and sniffing and feeling icky business is rather horrid, and I'd appreciate if you left my fellow monarch alone.

Do not take this as an empty threat, O Dreaded Flu. I have an axe and I am not afraid to wield it.

Much love from your former lover,


(no subject)

Date: 2009-06-28 05:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hee! Thanks, love. The flu is gone now, but has left the lingering gift of tonsilitis. I'm too used to my life to care.

Much love from your former lover,

What do you mean "former"?! Who hast thy fickle heart left me for, during our long sundered years, my love? How could you! *sob*

(no subject)

Date: 2009-06-28 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You have been graced with the gift of tonisilitis. You should feel privilged - tonsilitis is only presented to those who have shown some semblance of fidelity to the Flu. I bow down to you.

Meh, me and the Flu used to be real tight. He was around when everyone else left me *sniff* But do not think that I forgot about you! Nay, once I expressed my desire to return to the Queendom of LJ and to rekindle the love that you and I had, the Flu reacted adversely. I was subjected to the harsher side of it's personality, a side I did not believe existed...a side which led me to understand that the Flu has not been faithful. While I was happy and healthy, basking in the glory of goodness and wellbeing, the Flu was out gallivanting the streets and infecting poor unsuspecting fools! Fools who do not know of it's terrible, terrible ways...I am glad to be rid of such a beast, and I pray that it does not return to infect you again. May no one, not even my worst enemy be subject to such horrendous torture.

*strikes a dramatic pose*

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