I don't care how cute he is, he's had it this time!

 For Sale: Giving Away:

 

Nine-and-a-half year old deceptively adorable Sri Lankan boy with mild to moderate autism, of good parentage and fair siblingage. The older sister in particular is a great looker. Is of Singhalese descent and religion is not applicable, although he displays satanic tendencies and a penchant for destroying expensive ceramic Buddha statues. Extremely limber and prone to climb cupboards and any place where he can mostly easily fall off and break a limb or three. Easy to feed – is quite self-sufficient in finding junk food in any given situation although it is strongly cautioned against trying to feed him anything healthy at regular mealtimes. Useful mainly for ornamental purposes, as direct utility is nil. Likes to chew small articles of clothing and sister’s class notes. Has a well-honed talent for bending wire coat hangers at exact ninety-degree angles with self made handles of various women’s underclothing. Has a psychological Aishwarya Rai fixation that belies his tender age; persons with low tolerance for daily repetitions of Yash Raj films need not apply. Has a great interest in studying marine life, namely, all the ways it can be destroyed from the outside of an aquarium tank. Cause of sale – having played with and lost one too many of his sisters' possessions. (Those shades cost 900 bucks!)

 

Caution: once bought, the new owner must hide all clothes, books, accessories, jewellery, ornaments, bills, important documents and junk-food in their possession in a fifty foot hole in their backyard, furnish house with disposable furniture and invest heavily in Bollywood films. Immediately. Lung capacity of subject is unlimited and has feline clawing propensities. 

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Maybe I'll keep him after all. Crazy little thing called love, indeed.