Blah-di-blah, as per usual.

I want to stop trembling.

I want to stop taking pills. 

I want to stop whining. 

I want to find something to be enthusiastic about. Anything. 

I want to spend time with all my friends.

I want my weekly dose of the therapeutic Winchester pretty.

I want Show back!!

P.S: It is official. The Ackles has great therapeutic value. I just spent over a hour ogling him in fanvids on YouTube and being completely distracted from all the aches and tremors and existential angst. They should market him as anti-depressant. The only side-effects of the Ackles anti-depressant is possible ovary explosion, severe addiction and excessive drooling. Although withdrawal can be a bitch.

P.S2: I just realized that he's wearing eyeliner in my icon! How come they make him wear eyeliner everytime he has to come over all emo? Do they think the Ackting cannot stand without the emo Goth eyeliner to really make a statement? I thought it was just a quirk of the SPN make-up department, but apparently the folks over at Dark Angel had the same idea. Somebody should do an Eyeliner!Jensen picspam.

Behold, the Effects of DOPE.

I love yous guys, and I love your comments. I wish I had time to reply to them all, because I squish every one of them. But I can't tonight, and maybe not tomorrow as well because I am eternally doped to high heaven these days. Maybe I shall still be asleep and on drugs like some kind of junkie next year too. Maybe I'll never get off drugs and am destined to sleep 3/4ths of my life away. 

Am weaving with sleep as I type this. Am always sleepy now. Maybe it's how these things work. You can't be depressed when you're sleeping all the bloody time. 

I love you and my RL friends and especially Pavithri and Sadhini and my darling Nadeesha, who is out clubbing tonight, even though she lost her voice at dinner last night. Stupid woman. I love her. I don't want her to go away in February. Happy Birthday, baby girl, and may you answer your phone once in a while. Still have no idea what to get you for your birthday, btw. 

I shouldn't be whining so much. Pavithri doesn't whine half so much as I do and she has a lot more reason to whine because her life sucks more than mine at the moment. But then she has a super cool boyfriend who sends her blings, so maybe it doesn't. My boyfriend never sent me blings back when I had one. All the guys who were ever interested in me seemed to live to annoy the living daylights out of me. I wish I were a lesbian. A girlfriend would send me blings, I bet. 

This post would be so much more amusing if I were actually drunk instead of just loaded down with dope. A drunk post is not as amusing when you actually manag to spell all the words right. At least I think I spelt them all right. Boo to me. 

Me going to crash now. Hope I dream of having a foursome with the Jared, Jensen and Sandy McCoy. I am gay for that woman, I tells ya. 

Right. Shall crash. Doped posting is FUN. Must do it more often. 

To f-lock or not to f-lock, that is the question. 

Oh, fuck it. Not like anybody but you guys read this thing anyway. Uninvited pervy LJ lurkers must cover their eyes and go awai. Gate crashers. Bah. 

Beddy bye now. I love you. And I love Jensen Ackles. But I don't love my psychiatrist very much, because she is a mean lady who makes me take meds that make me post embarrassing drunk posts. But there is always Jensen Ackles. 

* goes off to have pervy dreams about the Pretty*