If we wanted "The Kingdom" we'd turn on the TV, you assholes.

[ladymirth]

I went to see "Om Shanti Om" with friends yesterday and somehow ended up seeing "The Kingdom". I had no idea what or who was in it, except for the fact that it was some kind of military film, which I don't like anyway. I mean, I like thrillers and action movies, but military movies never do a thing for me. So it was with the expectation of being bored that I sat down to watch. 

I wish. 

Five minutes into the movie, I have one question: who the hell thought this would be good entertainment for the Sri Lankan movie-viewing public? 

Dude, I don't know what kind of person sees civilian bombings and and shoot-outs in front of little kids as entertainment, but I suppose I could make a case for it countries ike the US, where such things are very remote from their lives. But this is fucking SRI LANKA. We have bombings going on outside our front doors every other week. We live with it, because we don't think about it and we've lived through far, far worse in the early nineties and the seventies. But when we go to a cinema to take our minds off things, we don't pay good money to be graphically reminded of how exactly we could die when yet another suicide bomber chooses to blow themselves up while we're stepping out of a shopping mall. 

Because for us? These things aren't remote. They're real. They happen out in the street, out on roads that our families use daily when they go to work and school, and the only thing we can fucking do is hope and pray that we get lucky, again and again, every single day. Or that if we do get blown up, that we will die together so that we will no be left behind to grieve for those we love. 

Honestly, ten minutes into the movie half of us were so upset that we wanted to get up and leave but later found ou that nobody had said anything because they thought the other half wanted to stay. Finally, I couldn't stand to watch the last half hour of the movie and just got up and walked out. I told everyone that I wanted to go buy a pair of shoes, and that I'd meet up with them once the movie was over. 

Thing is, it's very hard to shop for shoes when all you can think bout is how it would feel to have thousands of molten-hot lead pellets burn into your body or whether it would hurt to be incinerated, and how long it would take and how much you would feel it. And whether those people who died when that bus exploded on Slave Island two days ago also died like Agent Manning did. Only four people died on the spot. Twenty-three people had shards of white-hot shrapnel tearing into their vital organs and are still in hospital. I heard the blast from my room at nine fifteen in the morning on Wednesday, while I was on the phone making plans with Kaushalya for our cinema outing that we went on yesterday. It was the first time I actually heard a bomb go off. 

Do you know the typical reaction of a Sri Lankan to the news of a bomb blast? 

First we get nervous and check to see where it happened. Then, still only slightly nervous, we do a mental check of where our immediate family and relatives are supposed to be doing at this time of day and make calls all around to make sure they're okay. Once we ascertain that they are, we turn the TV off and get back on with our day, thinking with a kind of detached anxiousness, "I wonder whether that was a political assasination or an army bombing. If it's political, I bet it's Mervyn Silva. Or if it's not, it'll only be a matter of time anyway. Hope not too many people died, and it's nobody we know. I wonder whether we'll have to reschedule our New Year's party, if this keeps up. Must remember to catch everything on the evening news tonight. Not like they'll have anything conclusive to say before then, anyway". And then we will forget about it, and listen to some music. 

This war has been going on, at various stages of volence, for 27 years. Life doesn't stop because people keep dying on the street, or soldiers keep getting killed 500 odd kilometres and several army barriers away, in the North. You still need that promotion, your car battery still needs fixing, you still need to buy bread for dinner and you still want to watch the new Shah Rukh Khan movie. You can't agonize over death and dying. You'll lose your mind if you do. We are a generation who have been born with the war, who don't give a second thought to army personnel with rifles standing sentry outside our schools and offices, to whom being killed by a bomb is as routine a fear as being killed in a car crash, and who can't understand why the hell the international media keeps calling us a war zone when our lives are so boring and mundane, except for the odd blast and entertaining political skirmish.

I was extremely surprised when my school counselor, an American lady, confessed to me how very nervous she is made by the sight of the soldiers with long rifles at the army barracks that are dotted along the road to my campus. Apparently she nearly went into a panic when she was stopped by one of them for the first time, so they could inspect her ID. I can't comprehend it. I don't register the guns at all when I walk along the road every morning and evening (because my campus is in walking distance from my home). They're just boys in uniform doing a job. They're our boys in uniform doing a job. I pass at least two barracks on my way everday, and I know most of them by sight. They're quite as pleasant and respectful as any taxi driver. I actually feel quite safe when they're around. 

And it doesn't hurt that at least four of my uncles are, or used to be, in the army. I once ran into one of my uncles outside the school gate, while he was on security detail. I was ten years old and didn't see his rifle so much as the teasing grin he always reserved for me and my cousins. 

Come to think of it, he's kind of the living spit of Agent Fleury, only less annoying and pretentious. 

Two of my uncles have now retired from the Army. One works in a security company and the other was killed in a motorcycle accident three weeks before the 2004 Tsunami hit. 

The FBI director says in the movie: "Once you realize that life is finite, you are no longer afraid of death. The end comes no matter what, the only thing that matters is how do you wanna go out... on your feet or on your knees? " 

That is true. We learn the nature of the finite from the images on our TV screens before we are old enough to imagine that life could ever be anything else. We assimilate it and we live with it. I'm not saying that we're not afraid of dying, because we are. But we have accepted that the matter is out of our hands, and we have no say in how or where our lives will end. And so thinking, we strip death much of its tragedy and its horror, which translates into resignation, and resgination knows no fear. 

So no, we don't fear death. We don't even fear the death of our loved ones. We do however, fear the manner of our dying and the fact that we may be the ones left to mourn. I was in Canada when the war began escalating. My family dodged two bombs that occurred on routes we use in our daily commute by sheer luck while I was away. I woke up to the text message, "Bomb in Kolpetty. We are fine. Have fun." 

It was the first time that I had ever been scared witless by the news of a bomb. I called her back immediately and yelled at her for ten minutes for sending me that kind of thing in a text message instead of calling. My family were very surprised by this reaction. "Well it's over now, " said my father, "And we told you we were okay. What could you have done, anyway? Just forget about it and have fun at the convention." 

But how could I? I was afraid for them. More afraid than I've ever been of the war. I knew there was no way I could get my whole family to Canada, (aunts, cousins and all) so I wanted to go back there. My fear didn't dissipate till I was driving home from the airport with my father. I only felt safe once I was back in SL with my family. After that, I didn't so much as flinch at reports of the successive bombings in varous Colombo zones. Although the recent one that happned a fortnight ago in Nugegoda, where most of the 16 casualties were school children on their way home from night classes, did get to me.

And it was then I realized something. If you can't control whether you die, or your loved ones die, the only assurance that is left to you is the possibility of dying with them. 

I know that sounds like several kinds of fucked up to you. But I guess that's what it means to live in a war zone.

Not thinking about it is a form of self-preservation, and it's a way of life that only a person completely inured into this situation can understand. I don't usually talk about these things on-line, because there's nothing to talk about. This our life, and we live it the same as you do, and we still enjoy the same things you do. 

Except, you know, when it comes to the "reality of war" being sicced in our faces. Because, excuse me, the only people who could call the reality of war entertainment, or essential viewing, are people who don't know a damn fucking thing about that reality.

Comments

[lostprincess87.livejournal.com]

Aww honey, you should never gone to watch The Kingdom its really depressing.. one of the main reasons why i never wanna watch it. It tries to compare their situation with ours when we as you said get it all in our faces every fucking day! I'm not going to even attempt to explain to you the matters at hand as you know them far better than I do... and like you said I am extremely proud and honored to see "our" boys in uniforms. I never give them a them an annoying look when they stop us for questioning. They are just doing their job. I smile as much as possible. These people serve to keep our asses alive. The very least we can do is be civil to them. I see people who just make rude comments and groan and whine when they are told to pull over. People please understand that IF you want to WIN the FUCKING RAGING WAR HELP THE FUCKING PEOPLE WHO ARE INVOLVED IN IT! They don't necessarily think it's fun to pull over so many people each day and check each and every idiot passerby BUT they DO IT COS THEY WANT TO KEEP THIS FUCKING UNGRATEFUL COUNTRY SAVE!
Sorry if I swayed a bit from the point. War is not entertainment. We all know that! This is life people! We don't need to see it on the Silver Screen!
I'm extremely proud of you for the post. At least people care about the situation in the country and fucking give a damn!
Life goes on and we strive to make the best of each day. And I hate getting involved in political discussion for the main reasons as this is not just a war. It a politically effected war where civilians are the causalities (I include the Armed forces into this category as well).
I don't know if I made sense. I just know I hate the current situation.

[muses-circle.livejournal.com]

Because, excuse me, the only people who could call the reality of war entertainment, or essential viewing, are people who don't know a damn fucking thing about that reality.

I couldn't agree more. This is one of a long line of reasons why I refuse to watch movies like "The Kingdom". To be honest, as an American, I cannot begin to comprehend what your life is like, because we DON'T have the barracks, the constant ID checking, the bombs, the blood and death surrounding us. Sure, murders happen here, but it's nothing compared to what we see on the news. But we are so far removed from anything like what you've just described.

And frankly, Americans LOVE to be scared like this. Isn't that silly? They WANT to see the gore and the horror and the shock that only bombings and such can provide. I don't know why: when I go see a movie, I want to be entertained and don't like unnecessary violence. (Might be why I'm such a sci-fi geek.)

*hugs*