ladymirth

It is an extremely heady sensation to be so adored by a person you idolize. Or maybe idealize. Even if said person is not very comfortable with the notion of ever being so idealized. Tough noogies, dude. =)

It's a little like basking in the sun, actually. For the first time I feel comfortable in my own skin, like I'm not wanting for anything. Or yearning to be someone I'm not. Like I'm not going to dissappoint anyone. Like there's nothing I want that I don't have right now. It's the first time I've ever felt that way.

I feel safe. Secure. Cared for. It makes me feel as calm and centred as glacier that glows an unperturbable azure in all weathers. Only warm in the inside instead of cold.

There are no sparks, no sense of instant animal magnestism or visceral attraction. I don't even know whether there will ever be any, and that is the only shadow that falls across my newfound serenity.

But for now, this sense of being in the perfect place, at the perfect time...that makes me want to take one moment at a time, minutely appreciate its beauty and then move on unhurriedly to the next...like having my hand held in a reverent clasp...this feeling of wholeness and completeness...it's new and wonderful and something I've never experienced before.

And for now, that's enough.

ETA: The response.

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

roaringsprite.livejournal.com

Wow.... I dont know what to say, other than it makes my day to see you so happy.... pardon if i sound a little less articulate than usual, trying to compose a suitable response and failing utterly! as to the sparks and the rest, couldn't agree more, we need to take each moment as it comes....