I ATEN'T DEAD....yet.

[ladymirth]

Once upon a time, when I was young and naive and belived in the goodness of puppies and litte children, I thought I had my life pretty well figured. I was going to transfer from ANC to York University or McMaster in Canada and double major in Anthropology and Mass Communications. I'd get a work permit in Canada and work in Mass Media for a while. I'd help out my parents while they put my sister through her much more expensive biomedical engineering degree, until I had established myself enough to work part-time while doing my Master's degree in Anthropology. Then I would apply for permanent residency in Canada. I'd settle down there and possibly join the Peace Corps, which would mean that I'd get to travel all over the world if I was lucky. 

And now, five and a half months before I'm due to transfer, Reality has Bitten me. Hard. 

Student of U of California: "Anthropology and Mass Communications are both better known as 'Underwater Basket Weaving' degrees. You might want to reconsider."

Director of ANC, Dan Kelch: "Why would you want to go to Canada when the U.S has the better job market, more ethinic diversity, and a higher currency exchange rate? And if the standards of Canadian education are just the same as the U.S's, why do thousands of Candian students come to the U.S for their degrees every year?"

My bleeding history instructor who pulls in 200 grand a month from teaching at ANC: "Canada does encourage the immigration of skilled workers, but I doubt they're hankering after soft-core degree-holders like Anthropologists."

Student: "Well, maybe you could minor in something else, like Economics. Actually, I think you should major in Economics and Anthropology and maybe minor in Mass Comm. Mass Comm is a subject that can be learned practically a lot better than it can be learned theoretically. But of course, doing two majors and a minor will likely kill you."

Student Counselor: "Why York U? Why not universities like Chicago and Maryland, even if you do want to do anthropology?" 

Personal Development Counselor and Psychology instructor, Dr. LeValley: "Whatever you choose, don't drop anthropology. You ARE an anthropologist. It's what you were born to do."

Dad: "You don't know where the world will end up. The world you will enter when you graduate isn't the world that will be in another 20 years time. There's no such thing as job security. Money isn't everything, and it can't buy happiness."

Quotes from Kelch which essentially boil down to: "Life ain't a Disney movie. It's all very well to say "follow your heart", but you've got to take other considerations into account too if it's gonna cost you $20,000 a year. What do you mean, money isn't your primary objective? Look at you. You're a fashionably dressed girl who hasn't paid a bill in your life. Believe me, the moment you start, money will become the primary objective. You can't have your parents invest their entire life savings on you and then get only a measly return on it."

My own inner voice: "Your parents were naive and they were victims of circumstance. If they had kept their eye on the ball rather than their ideals of family loyalty and keeping everybody happy at whatever cost, your family would have already migrated to Canada by now and they'd have been five times richer and they wouldn't have to scrimp and save to put you through college now. Don't fall into the same trap. You know what it's like to live without any financial stability. Or do you want to live in the Rocking Horse Winner your whole life?"

Cousin residing in Aussie: "Have you considered Australia? It's a lot warmer there, and you know you start freezing anytime the thermometer drops past 25 degrees (77 F)."

...

I've been living in a Disney movie. The reality is that I'm going to spend all my parents life savings on getting the inside scoop on underwater basket weaving, then then move into a slum shelter and eat at soup kitchens because nobody will give me a job. Canada is going not going to let me stay because they do not appreciate my mad underwater basket weaving skillz, Australia is not going to let me in because it has enough of those, and the U.S is going to laugh in my face. I'm going to have to come back to Sri Lanka with my tail between my legs and earn back what my parents spent on my college tuition in another thirty years time, if I'm lucky. And I'll be able to do neither the job I love, nor gain a return on my parents investment, nor make a comfortable living for myself. 

Or maybe the gods will grant my wish, I end up being an anthroplogist and I grow to hate the job because I never have enough money and people keep snubbing me for polluting their capitalist, high-powered lifestyle with underwater baskets. 

The day will come when the gods will grow angered at the self-congratulation and self-obsession of us Earthlings, vainglorious in our manipulation of science and nature and rampant in our consumerism. They will send giant tidal waves and earthquakes to submerge the corrupt capitalist civilizations deep under the sea, there to be lost forever more. Then will the people will need underwater baskets to proffer their offerings, swearing their penitence for ever having snubbed the Liberal Arts and begging for mercy and salvation. And there shall be no underwater baskets for them! And they shall be sorry!

But until such time of divine intervention...I'm basically screwed. 

HELP!

 

Comments

[guipago.livejournal.com]

*grabs your hands*

*makes a fist with one*

*pulls out your middle finger*

*aims it toward the world in general and nods at you*

Now you know my plan for life.

You can scare at shadows, you can startle at what other people's broken hopes, dreams, and bitter memories try to pour on you. OR, you can put your head up, smile at them, nod at their warnings, and do your thing.

I think you should just do your thing Get your ass to Canada, work your ass off, and money or no money there are scholarships and ways to work to help yourself and your parents along.

On the even brighter side, in exchange for a few years of your life your masters and phd degrees can be basically paid for if you do it right.

And more than anything? Peace Corp. You can travel and experience and enjoy life.

It's your life. Not theirs. If you let their fears couple with your natural and very normal fears you just get bigger fears and y ou live life in a box. A nice, cardboard, brown box. Four sides, a top and a bottom.

My advice? Do it. Make the change, take the risk. Your family is your family, but they can't live your life for you.

*hugs*

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

*clings to you*

But...but, cardboard boxes are so snug and nice and warm and...and brown. I feel like I've never appreciated them properly before. =(

See, I used to go through life requesting the world to politely go and fuck itself too. But past experience has told me that the world is more into the non-consensual screwing of other people than the whole solo experience. The world is a kinky bastard.

For myself, I don't mind. I can take my chances somehow. But I just can't justify making off with all my poor, trusting parents' life savings when they have an autistic son and another college-age daughter to support. Neither of my parents are too healthy. My mother is going back to work in dentistry in the UK so she can put my sister through school. If I can't help them along after my own degree, I'm genuinely afraid she's going to kill herself working.

We have lots of financial problems, our family. Sending us to study abroad is just one in a long list of things we've done over the years that we haven't been able to afford in the first place. Suffice to say that I've lived in the Rocking Horse Winner my entire life.

*hugs* But thanks for the advice, honey. I'm far from disregarding it, despite my concerns.

[kemidra.livejournal.com]

Hrm. I'm 29 years old, and all those fears you're feeling have kept me from doing what I wanted to. Now I'm in the medical field, where I don't want to be, I'm making more money than I ever have before, and I was just handed the opportunity to advance in my field. A stable field (medical research) where I'll make a very comfortable wage and which will never go away.

I'm saying "fuck it all" and going to college to major in anthropology.

I'm still relatively young, but I've lived enough to know that stability is only worth so much. You only live once. You have advantages now that you can use to ensure your entire life is... stable. And you may never have to know what those of us who never had that are thinking and feeling. Experience it. All your fears basically boil down to "the unknown is scary." It is. But the known is boring. I think your life will be richer for taking the unbeaten path than the shiny paved one.

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

Huh. This is a good point you that you remind me. Boredom is merely an easily compensated trial for other species of human, but is downright lethal to me, even in small doses. I can stand starving (Hell, give me a book to read and I won't even notice) but I can't stand being bored, and I can't understand how people tolerate it.

I think your life will be richer for taking the unbeaten path than the shiny paved one.
I suddenly feel a great sympathy with Robert Frost.

Thanks! *HUGS*

[un-sedentary.livejournal.com]

I scoff at the director of ANC... Toronto is known to be the most diverse city in the world, and seriously it shows. Many places in both the US and Canada are breeding grounds for pretty much 99% white Christians (not that I'm against white Christians or anything), while big cities have diverse populations. And Toronto pwns all American cities. So there. ;)

It's all very well to say "follow your heart", but you've got to take other considerations into account too if it's gonna cost you $20,000 a year.

A lot of people study abroad and pay 20k/year for it... in fact, a lot of people NOT studying abroad still pay 20k/year for their education. So it's doable. I refuse to believe every single one of them was born into a family that craps diamonds. So don't let anyone kill your plans... there will always be someone who thinks they have a better plan. Do what you want to and if you fail at least you'll know you followed your own dreams.

For the record, I don't think you can do a double major AND a minor at York... it works out to be too many credits. An honours BA is 120 credits where 6 credits is a full year course. (30 credits/year). A major is usually about 45 credits, so a double would be 85-90; a minor is 24, so together it's 110-115, and you would also need to do 18 General Education credits outside your field, which goes over 120. And you can't do a major and two minors, either, which is just teh stupid and what we call "getting Yorked." -_- It should be possible, though, I think, to do a major/minor and a 24-credit certificate program, which would count as a qualification (I'm doing a certificate in teaching English as a foreign language, though I'm also putting English down as my minor, heh).

Doing a double-major won't kill you in terms of workload, as it's the same amount of credits you'd usually do, but while it sometimes doesn't matter if, say, you get a C in a first-year elective philosophy course, you'd have to keep all your grades up. And if you plan to stay here for the summers, you can totally take some of your courses in the summer semester(as long as they are offerred in the summer, that is), so your regular yearly credit load is lighter (and since you pay by credits, it wouldn't cost you extra).

Sorry if I just repeated things you already knew, I know that can be really annoying. I really hope you don't let anyone destroy your plans. *hugs*

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

I ran a google search, and it says Toronto is the most diverse city, f you discount the U.S. Anyhow, that's good enough for me. I stayed there for a couple of weeks when I was visiting my uncle. It was weird for me to fathom that this was a big city. Having lived in a hopelessly overcrowded, underdeveloped city for most of my life, there were two thoughts in my head right after I arrived in Toronto: a) My God this place is big! b)Where are all the people?!

I kid you not.

Anywho, I loved Toronto, but I loved Ottawa even more. I basically just fell in love with Ottawa. It was so purrrty! *sigh* *cuddles Ottawa*

Thank you so much for all the info about York! I actually did not know any of that stuff (yes, my research sucketh. That'll teach me to go spastic without having all the facts in hand!) and I find the certificate program thingy extremely interesting. Must explore that.

There's no way I can stay over the summers though. I would die of Boy withdrawal. A girl's gotta make time for love, after all. ;-D

**hugs you** Wouldn't it be awesome if we met up next year? **squee**

[un-sedentary.livejournal.com]

I've never actually been to Ottawa! But I hear it's pretty. The river freezes in the winter and becomes the world's longest natural ice-skating rink. There are universities there too, though - University of Ottawa, Carleton (well, near it).

No problem about the info! If you need any more info, don't hesitate to ask. ;) And you can also dump your questions upon yorku. The certificate programs are specific, so look up if anything you want to study is offerred in cert. form.

We have boys here, ya know. ;) Even very pretty ones.

And yes, it would AWESOME if we did, and I have to admit 10% of my encouragement has an ulterior motive *g* But I truly do hope you'll do this for yourself as well. *HUGS*

[pgwfolc.livejournal.com]

I wish I knew what to tell you. Unfortunately, the are no easy answers, as you already know.

But what else could you do? What else would you want to do?

Money is important and all, but it doesn't buy happiness. (Though it can buy some nice toys...) If there's a job you love, go for it. If you don't love your job, if you give up and make do, it'll wear on you in the long run. You'll grind away, and be ground down in turn, and you'll end up just another miserable cog in the machine.

That is not what your parents want from you or for you. Pay them back by doing what they sent you out to do - find a way to live a life that makes you happy. (And then marry rich!)

Or, you know, you could get a doctorate in Underwater Basked Weaving. That's sure to impress someone.

More realistically... is there a way to do both? Go for anthropology, but with a back-up/fallback plan? While Julie is completely wrong about Toronto (NYC pwns all! With some of everything to spare!), she has some useful info about the university. (She knows York, but not New York.) A double major might just work out. Anthropology and [something else].

Your father is also right. The world changes. Job markets come and go, and are becoming ever more unstable. Skilled and qualified engineers get stuck with low-paying jobs outside their fields. Physicists end up managing mutual funds on Wall Street (which at least pays rather well). Economists... I don't know what happens to them. Some of them get on TV and prove to the world that their entire field is BS because no one really understands anything about how this stuff works. Some of them go back to university to make more economists. And I guess the rest sit around, doodle with numbers, and try to figure out why they aren't actually rich yet? Or maybe they become accountants.

Or maybe the thing to do is to find a place that does have use for anthropologists. Israel, perhaps? I don't know. It's warm, at least. And there are places that respect intellectualism and history. Although there is that unfortunate tendency of things to explode.

In conclusion, such as it is... Yes, you have to consider reality and the long term and all that, but don't give up on what you love because of it. Find a way to make it work. Find a niche where you fit. Or find something else that you love, too. But don't let guilt run your life. And don't make your choices based on a sense of obligation to your family without considering what your family actually wants from and for you.

P.S.

[pgwfolc.livejournal.com]

{{HUGS}}

{{MORE HUGS}}

{{ANOTHER HUG}}

{{MILD GROPING}}

Oops. Er... uhm... Sorry.

{{MORE PROPER HUGS}}

Re: P.S.

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

((((GIANT HUGS BACK))))

*whacks hand away*

I have a very jealous boyfriend. He cannot know about our secret love, Paul!

((((PROPER HUGS BACK))))

Re: P.S.

[pgwfolc.livejournal.com]

Aww. So you're still with him? *sigh* The good ones are always taken. :(

*quick pinch*

{{ONE MORE HUG BACK}}

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

...

I'm sorry, I kind of phased out after I followed the link. It's a prank, right? Or a faculty in-joke. I refuse to believe the world is that weird.

The thing is, my true love, without which I would be heartbroken primary area of interest is Anthropology, and my main strengths all lean toward Mass Communication. Substituting one or the other simply means the choice between playing to my interest and playing to my skills.

Although there is that unfortunate tendency of things to explode.
Dude, you do remember I live in Sri Lanka, right? High casualty explosions are pretty much everyday occurences for us.

And don't make your choices based on a sense of obligation to your family without considering what your family actually wants from and for you.
Maybe I should just ask them.

[pgwfolc.livejournal.com]

It was an article in the college newsletter. Note the fact that it was designed by two members of the "Psychotic Department." Yes, it's a joke. ;)

If you feel that strongly about anthropology, stick with it and find a way to make it work. Like I said, if it doesn't work in one place, look for a better niche elsewhere.

And yes, I remember you're in Sri Lanka. Almost mentioned that I expect you'd be used to it, but decided that maybe it was better not to. Maybe I should have. In any case, it does remain a downside.

And yes, ask your family. Talk to them. See what they have to say, since you're lucky enough (like me) to have a family whose opinions are actually worthwhile and actually matter to you.

P.P.S.

[pgwfolc.livejournal.com]

It should be noted Underwater Basket Weaving does actually exist as a craft. The baskets are made from hard reeds, which are soaked under water to make them softer and easier to weave. The weaver, however, remains dry from the elbows up.

[cyad.livejournal.com]

I really like your dad's POV!

Can I quote him? I think it's make a great undercaption of my inflight lj mosaïc!

[cyad.livejournal.com]

How about answering this:

What do you really want? *close your eyes. K. Now first thing that pops to mind regarless of what your family, parents, best friends, cousins, goldfishes... want you to do...*

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

Goldfish!

Um sorry, lemme see...I wanna...I really wanna be a TV scriptwriter and create my own Superhero TV series. Or market beauty care products. Or own a clothes store.

Hmmm.

[cyad.livejournal.com]

rotfl!

well, you already got a fair training in superheroes and writing. And beauty care products goes well with clothes thingy and... the best part is... I can help! :)

Do you know if the indian market's really open for those things. Am thinking yes, especially beauty care products. Clothes... well, from here, clothing and textile is a dying market 'cause too much competitors on it, Doing and trying to sell the exact same things. But then again, depends if you wanna keep it local or worldwide.

And how about trying to work in those last two fields as a summer job, see if it's your thing and then launch yourself? You could also ask people working in that field how they started, how much you need to build your own business, etc...?

If it's really what you wanna do.

As for tv script writer (or Blooywood scripter) wel, I'd say, same deal: go out there and ask what it takes,, etc. What do you have to lose? *again, if it's really what you wanna do,my guess is, you got the motivation, you just need to go out there and make it happen, IMHO*

All the best!!

*tiger hugs & squishes and waves encouraging pompons at you!*

[cyad.livejournal.com]

sorry, I keep somehow wanting Sri LAnka's to be under India's administrations or... *don't bother nor pay attention* :p

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

Go ahead. He'd be flattered. =D

[cyad.livejournal.com]

ooh! then I'll do it sa am back home! thx! :)

[mrsmosley.livejournal.com]

Hasini, darling, breathe! You are a brilliant girl and odds are on that you will make a success of whatever you do.

Of all the advice you were given above, the quote I agree with the most is your dad's. His comment is the absolute, unvarnished truth. However, that doesn't mean you should give up your dreams, simply that you need to make your choices with your eyes wide open. Check out the requirements for the Peace Corps. Talk to Wendy about employment in Canada. Go find someone who is currently employed in the anthropology field and have a chat about their education and career. Consult with people you trust, and then make your decision. If that decision is still anthro in Canada, fine, but you'll take with you the confidence that you really thought about it.

I'd also like to remind you that what you major in and what you spend your life doing are often two different things. For example, moi: a history major/anthro minor who works in banking and treasury, for heaven's sake! Can you think of any two fields farther apart? So even if you did major in underwater basket weaving, that's not necessarily what you're going to be locked into for the rest of your life.

You're in my thoughts and prayers, friend.

P.S. I'm excited that you may someday be living on the same continent I am! Not that I really ever get to Canada, but even so. :)

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

If I am brilliant, then I am simply one star in a universe full of stars, and therefore as insignificant as any dwarf planet.

Talk to Wendy about employment in Canada.
Does she work in an advisory capacity like that? I had a vague idea that she did.

For example, moi: a history major/anthro minor who works in banking and treasury, for heaven's sake! Can you think of any two fields farther apart?

But...but you were working for the bank before you ever went to college and you didn't empty your parents whole life savings on it. *is miserable*

*wants hug* *clings*

P.S. I'm excited that you may someday be living on the same continent I am! Not that I really ever get to Canada, but even so. :)

Are you kidding? If I get to share anywhere like the same land mass with you, I shall certainly turn up on your doorstep one day, even if I have to backpack through the country! =D

[mrsmosley.livejournal.com]

{{{{{HUGS HASINI}}}} I know you'll make a great decision either way, my friend. It's hard, but I have confidence in you! And my doorstep is eagerly waiting. :)

[mrsmosley.livejournal.com]

P.S. Yes, Wendy is the Queen of Canadian Employment Advice For Denizens From Other Lands.

[muses-circle.livejournal.com]

Okay, girl. Slow down, check your side mirrors, and think about this for a second. Have you talked to anyone who actually lives in Canada about their take on your immigrating there? Have you thought about researching the socio-economic and educational issues of Canada? Lemme tell ya, I think Canada has a lot more going for it than other countries, and the United States ain't all it's cracked up to be.

If you want to be an anthropologist, then GO FOR IT. If that's what you truly and honest to goodness want to do, then do it. And don't listen to people who say you have to come to the US to get a "better" education, because seriously? That is oftentimes a misnomer.

Listen to yourself, honey. Your positive self. You know what you're doing, and there is nothing wrong with actively pursuing your dreams. Be realistic about it, but please don't let these other people bash your dreams to pieces. That's not being fair TO YOU.

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

Listen to yourself, honey. Your positive self.

But which one is my positive self? The part that's encouraging me to take a leap of faith or the one that's trying to save me from my own idealism?

I can put my dilemma no better than by this Calvin and Hobbes comic:



but please don't let these other people bash your dreams to pieces.

Yes, I'm rather insulted that I let other people do it. I'm getting lazy. I used to be able to bash them in all by myself.

As for the rest:

*is overwhelmed with affection*

*SQUISHES YOU TO LITTLE BITS AND PIECES, YOU AWESOME LADY!*

Your icon perfectly encapsulates everything I'm feeling at this point. I shall steal it. Ta!

[muses-circle.livejournal.com]

There is nothing wrong with chasing your dreams. Idealism is okay, so long as it is tempered with a dose of reality. Example: I dream of being a published writer, of making a bit of a living doing that. So I'm chasing my dream, and I hope one day I'll get there. BUT. I know there is a possibility it'll never happen. However, that's not stopping me from doing it... no matter how many people look at me with bug eyes when I tell them I'm going to write a 50k novel in 30 days in November, or that I write every single day in some way, shape, or form.

Think of it this way: you only have one life. Do you want to look back at yourself 50 years from now and regret that you never took a chance and went for it?

[prelude-in-d.livejournal.com]

No matter what you do or where you go you're going to get a ton of differing opinions.

Just do and go where you want to, things will work themselves out from there. I was told by a number of people that I was nuts to go into music and then to go to a private school that costs $46,000 a year. But I basically ignored them, and now I have less money to pay than if I had gone to a State school and possibly gone into some other major.

So yeh - do what you feel is necessary for you.

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

You dared to major in music? Okay, you officially had it worse than me. *g*