The Pratfalls of Feminism.

[ladymirth]

It's rather weird to be defending pro-life when you're pro-choice yourself.

See, the thing is, I DON'T believe that all pro-life activists are misogynists and anti-feminists. I know that the feminist agenda will always include pro-choice, but I don't see why people who cannot agree on only that aspect of feminism should be automatically disqualified from being feminists at all. 

Hence, this huge OT thread on anti_feminism . 

It's really weird. My own pro-choice beliefs are continually parrotted back at me, when all I want to say it that people who believe in pro-life aren't automatically evil. 

I just understand that pro-life women are placed in a rather impossible postion. They believe that abortion is the same as murder, and murder is basically universal morality. So of course saying "that's just your belief, and you can't impose it on me" can't fly with them. But at the same time, a lot of pro-life women care about women's rights too. 

I am honestly confused about this whole "you can be personally pro-life, but it doesn't matter as long as you're politically pro-choice" issue. Isn't pro-choice and pro-life always a political stance? You either think that women should have a choice in the matter, murder or nor murder, or you want the law to intervene and take that choice away. There's no such thing as pro-abortion, after all. 

This is why I get so tired of the feminist movement sometimes. It's as intolerant and narrow-minded as any antiquated church. You can't be feminist if you give up your career and have children, you can't be feminist if you're a devout Christian, you can't be feminist if you don't believe pornography is evil, you can't be feminist if you like blowing men, you can't be feminist if you think that sluts do exist, you can't be feminist, YOU CAN'T BE FEMINIST!

And for the love of the Mother Goddess, STOP BANDYING ABOUT THE WORD "MISOGYNY" LIKE IT'S ON CLEARANCE SALE!!

It's even more fucked up than the Monotheistic Churches. At least they've had centuries to evolve and grasp the concept of tolerance. And they're not in a constant state of war with one another now.  

Would it kill the radicals to admit that they can still disagree on certain issues, fight against each other on certain issues, and still be part of the same damn movement?

And now I'm sitting back thinking that maybe I'm the one who doesn't get it. Maybe I AM 'over-open-minded'. Will I look back on this post in another six months and groan at my own naivete? 

I'm feeling very young and uncertain today.

Comments

[un-sedentary.livejournal.com]

This is why I get so tired of the feminist movement sometimes. It's as intolerant and narrow-minded as any antiquated church. You can't be feminist if you give up your career and have children, you can't be feminist if you're a devout Christian, you can't be feminist if you don't believe pornography is evil, you can't be feminist if you like blowing men, you can't be feminist if you think that sluts do exist, you can't be feminist, YOU CAN'T BE FEMINIST!

You're talking about radical feminists... I often find that their attitude is more anti-men than pro-equality. Not everyone... but a good percentage.

Staying at home to care for your kids is valid - and when a woman turns on her "sister" to criticise her for placing her family first, we're going into seriously negative and "un-sisterly" territory. Pornography has both men and women in it, so I don't really get the notion that it humiliates women. Not to mention the existance of gay sex, I don't know, is that offensive to women somehow too because it fails to acknowledge their existance? As for blowing men, Samantha from Sex and the City has said it well: "Men, they may have you on your knees, but you've got them by the balls." And, frankly, saying that if you do anything to please a man in bed you are anti-feminist is going back to the days where a woman was expected to lie on her back and take it, which IS anti-feminist. Part of the feminist movement is that women are allowed to enjoy sex and have a lot of it, because, damn it, we do it for reasons other than babies.

Which brings me to my next point. I suppose a sincere pro-life belief is something I can respect. But I can't respect it when it's imposed on me. I'll tell you why, actually, pro-life laws would be a bad thing, without going into a woman's right to choose: because abortions will always exist. Back-alley, coat-hanger abortions that end with the death of the mother half the time, WILL (and do) happen in places where sterile abortion performed by a doctor is outlawed or inaccessible. So the question is, do you force women to get these back-alley abortions and risk their lives, or do you give them a safe venue.

Plus, I also think a woman's right to choose is important, of course. A man can walk away, even if it would be wrong of him (and if the pregnancy is the result of a one-night stand, he might never even know he fathered a child). It's so much harder for a woman to have a baby and give it up for adoption. Not to mention, the 9-month pregnancy will happen to her whether she keeps it or not.

Also, consider that birth control is not infalliable and I've heard of women getting pregnant even while on the pill. Condoms definitely break and leak. So the only way a woman has to guarantee not getting pregnant 100%, is abstinence, while guys can go out and have as much annonymous, responsibility-free sex as they'd like? That's wrong. And also anti-feminist.

[ladymirth.livejournal.com]

I agree with everything you say, especially this one:

I'll tell you why, actually, pro-life laws would be a bad thing, without going into a woman's right to choose: because abortions will always exist. Back-alley, coat-hanger abortions that end with the death of the mother half the time, WILL (and do) happen in places where sterile abortion performed by a doctor is outlawed or inaccessible. So the question is, do you force women to get these back-alley abortions and risk their lives, or do you give them a safe venue.

Which is why McCain saying that "Roe vs Wade was a huge mistake" filled me with horror. You try governing by moral beliefs instead of accounting for human nature and you can damn near destroy a country.

I'll fight pro-life laws tooth and nail, but I'll never label them woman-haters.

As for the porn issue and the mud-slinging and vitriol that involves...don't even get me started. I did a research and presentation on it last semester, and it seems completely impossible for the anti-porn feminists and the sex-positive ones to hold a civil debate with each other. If you're anti-porn you're a sex-hating prude and if you're sex-positive you're a whore and a sellout. AND THEY KEEP LUMPING IN PORN STARS AND PROSTITUTES TOGETHER, WTF?!!! The whole thing sickened me made me find new levels of loathing for Andrea Dworkin.

"Men, they may have you on your knees, but you've got them by the balls."
Haha, how true! Plus, it's actually rather fun. XD

I just hate how radical feminists needs to turn everything into something that resembles an elitist clique. I run into this attitude a lot in fandom and it pisses me the hell off. I hate the cult of the patriarchy but I sure as hell am not going to lie down and take the "cult of the matriarchy" either.