Clearly you don't really belong to the internet, then. Twilight has been exploding all over it, especially the meta-fandom.
Tis a story where vegetarian werewolves and vampires go to high school (kinda like Sunnydale with more mob violence) and they are each others mortal enemies (kinda like Underworld with a male Kate Beckinsale) and the new kid on the block, Bella, is an ugly duckling-turned-Mary Sue, and both the aloof, sparkling Edward, the coolest kid in town (literally, since he's a vampire) and her plebian werewolf best friend Jacob vie for her affections (kinda like Pretty in Pink with more fangs). The smell of Bella's blood nearly drives Edward to hop off the noble teetotaling bandwagon and also puts a strain on their romance because you can't really maintain a relationship with a girl who puts you in the mood for some serious O negative. (Well, unless you're Kurt Cobain or Marilyn Manson and those guys were half-vampires anyway.) Although aparently real vampires are way more genteel because they hardly ever crap on stage and object to slamming around fair maidens unless you're married to them, even when said fair maiden is begging for them to slam her. And then Bella gets powers and Edward tries to commit suicide by public sparkling which brings the wrath of the vampire mafia down upon them and they have to go on the run.
In the final book, Breaking Dawn, Edward and Bella apparently get married (even though Eddie's 101 years older than her and probably nobly refrained from banging her great-grandmother too) and she gets turned into a vampire and is all ready to make his vampire babies (shades of Van Helsing, ew!). But apparently Edward got her knocked up before she got turned, resulting in an alarming demon-child-brat who decides to try out her superhuman powers of AssKick by practicing on Mummy's rib-cage. Fun and hemorrhaging ensue.
Baby is born, nearly killing Mummy (who is undead? WTF?) and causing werewolf best friend Jacob to go on the rampage and KILL DEMON BABY! Only to realize that the wee, pink-toed spawn of the devil is in fact his soulmate, destined to marry Uncle Jacob once she grows up. The two houses of the undead reconcile in the face of the news that their two brands of the Undead Speshul Cray-Z will one day be joined together via psychotic werewolf and matricidal she-demon.
Mummy gets her revenge for bringing more trauma into her undead life by naming her hell-spawn after the Loch Ness Monster.
This book might never have made a blip on the publishing radar if it wasn't for the unpredictable tastes of the adolescent reading public. It sold record numbers of copies, managed to push Deathly Hallows off to the number two spot (DH had already been topping charts for far longer than all the boybands in history put together) and people were raving about it so much that the Internet at large was forced to take notice. AND THEN ALL WANK BROKE LOOSE! Not least because of all the comparisons to Harry Potter.
I think I just about pegged all the opinions that have ever been expressed by the Internet so far, except for "Twilight...bzuh?" (which category you fall in, Paul) and "Hey, I'm just here for the wank" (which category I fall in).
For a person sitting on the sidelines, it has all been quite amusing. =D
Clearly you don't really belong to the internet, then.
Yes, I'd noticed. I have my happy little world with my beloved flist and a few MBs tucked away in hidden corners and that's about it. I'm happy with it, for the most part, but every once in a while, I'll look up and go "Huh, there's all this stuff that everyone knows about and I've never heard of. I wonder where 'everyone' is hearing about it. I feel so painfully out of touch." And then I look around and realize that it's mostly utter crap, so I don't actually reach out and start looking (not that I have any clear idea of where to look).
But thanks for the explanation, anyway. :)
(For the record "Underworld" was based on the White Wolf line of RPGs. That much, I know.)
P.S: I'm not kidding about the sparkling. Edawrd apparently sparkles, he is so pretty. And you'd think Meyer would at least put in some good smut to compensate for all this bullshit, but no, she's reportedly all the "Queen of cockblocking".
My opinion of it is "none of the above" - it's a *meh* book. I'm not impressed, but I won't call it "misogynistic crap." I would, however suggest borrowing or reading from the library before investing any money in it.
I've only been able to get through half of the first book. But you can read it for the lulz, because it is hilariously awful. *g* It's like badfic. It has SO MANY elements of badfic.
Oh, and since I see from you reply to Paul that you're all spoiled about everything already, let me add to the list that HIS EYES CHANGE COLOURS. If that plus the sparkling doesn't make him the ultimate Mary Sue, then the amount of times Meyer felt the need to mention his "angelic", "seraphic", and "perfect" face/features that "stun [Bella's] mind" seals the deal.
This is why fandom is such a boon for aspiring writers. It teaches you how NOT to write.
It's kind of depressing that crap like that makes the bestseller lists though. Oh well, at least it inspires others to write. More than one person I know has said that if this stuff can get published, so can they.
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-10 07:49 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-10 09:02 am (UTC)Tis a story where vegetarian werewolves and vampires go to high school (kinda like Sunnydale with more mob violence) and they are each others mortal enemies (kinda like Underworld with a male Kate Beckinsale) and the new kid on the block, Bella, is an ugly duckling-turned-Mary Sue, and both the aloof, sparkling Edward, the coolest kid in town (literally, since he's a vampire) and her plebian werewolf best friend Jacob vie for her affections (kinda like Pretty in Pink with more fangs). The smell of Bella's blood nearly drives Edward to hop off the noble teetotaling bandwagon and also puts a strain on their romance because you can't really maintain a relationship with a girl who puts you in the mood for some serious O negative. (Well, unless you're Kurt Cobain or Marilyn Manson and those guys were half-vampires anyway.) Although aparently real vampires are way more genteel because they hardly ever crap on stage and object to slamming around fair maidens unless you're married to them, even when said fair maiden is begging for them to slam her. And then Bella gets powers and Edward tries to commit suicide by public sparkling which brings the wrath of the vampire mafia down upon them and they have to go on the run.
In the final book, Breaking Dawn, Edward and Bella apparently get married (even though Eddie's 101 years older than her and probably nobly refrained from banging her great-grandmother too) and she gets turned into a vampire and is all ready to make his vampire babies (shades of Van Helsing, ew!). But apparently Edward got her knocked up before she got turned, resulting in an alarming demon-child-brat who decides to try out her superhuman powers of AssKick by practicing on Mummy's rib-cage. Fun and hemorrhaging ensue.
Baby is born, nearly killing Mummy (who is undead? WTF?) and causing werewolf best friend Jacob to go on the rampage and KILL DEMON BABY! Only to realize that the wee, pink-toed spawn of the devil is in fact his soulmate, destined to marry Uncle Jacob once she grows up. The two houses of the undead reconcile in the face of the news that their two brands of the Undead Speshul Cray-Z will one day be joined together via psychotic werewolf and matricidal she-demon.
Mummy gets her revenge for bringing more trauma into her undead life by naming her hell-spawn after the Loch Ness Monster.
And no, I did not make any of this up.
This book might never have made a blip on the publishing radar if it wasn't for the unpredictable tastes of the adolescent reading public. It sold record numbers of copies, managed to push Deathly Hallows off to the number two spot (DH had already been topping charts for far longer than all the boybands in history put together) and people were raving about it so much that the Internet at large was forced to take notice. AND THEN ALL WANK BROKE LOOSE! Not least because of all the comparisons to Harry Potter.
I think I just about pegged all the opinions that have ever been expressed by the Internet so far, except for "Twilight...bzuh?" (which category you fall in, Paul) and "Hey, I'm just here for the wank" (which category I fall in).
For a person sitting on the sidelines, it has all been quite amusing. =D
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-10 09:14 am (UTC)Yes, I'd noticed. I have my happy little world with my beloved flist and a few MBs tucked away in hidden corners and that's about it. I'm happy with it, for the most part, but every once in a while, I'll look up and go "Huh, there's all this stuff that everyone knows about and I've never heard of. I wonder where 'everyone' is hearing about it. I feel so painfully out of touch." And then I look around and realize that it's mostly utter crap, so I don't actually reach out and start looking (not that I have any clear idea of where to look).
But thanks for the explanation, anyway. :)
(For the record "Underworld" was based on the White Wolf line of RPGs. That much, I know.)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-10 09:05 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-10 09:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-10 09:55 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-10 10:04 am (UTC)People are far more entertaining than vampires any day. LOL.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-10 10:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-10 11:12 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-12 09:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-10 05:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-12 09:58 am (UTC)Thanks, Ruth.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-10 07:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-10 07:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-12 10:01 am (UTC)It's kind of depressing that crap like that makes the bestseller lists though. Oh well, at least it inspires others to write. More than one person I know has said that if this stuff can get published, so can they.